Lebron don't play that
2. Advertising Gone Wrong
Or, depending on your POV.. gone oh so right.
3. He Got Game
He's revolutionizing the way basketball is played.. and at least one of his teammates dont like it.
4. He Got Flame
Clippers DeAndre Jordan having a lil fun with the masses... This is exactly the kind of shit Adam would pull in the newsroom to "welcome new people". Yes. I was a victim. No. I haven't gotten over it.
5. Burton Does Pinnochio
Hadn't heard about this, but hopefully it will be better than that Willy Wonka or Alice in Wonderland... both were just creepy. And I'm a huge Burton fan.
Like put this guy in a crazy vest and give him a puppet and some quirky tics and you're there.
We previously suggested that Warner Bros. could save untold millions in production costs by simply allowing audiences to imagine what Tim Burton's Pinocchio would be like, mostly by recalling Alice In Wonderland and mentally replacing their hilarious assumptions about Johnny Depp playing Geppetto with their equally obvious assumptions about how Robert Downey Jr. will do that. But as it turns out, pure imagination is incapable of producing billions of dollars in box-office receipts—which is why Warner Bros. is making another well-worn dark fairy tale with Tim Burton and Robert Downey Jr. in the first place. So the studio has now hired Kick-Ass and X-Men: First Class co-writer Jane Goldman to draft another take on a script originally turned in by Bryan Fuller, back when producer Dan Jinks first commissioned a film he said was "inspired by" Tim Burton's Alice In Wonderland—and thus knowingly playing doubly into Tim Burton's sweet spot of only doing things that he doesn't have to come up with.
6. Douche of the Day
Well, co-douche, as he's not the only CEO doing something like this..
John Metz, Denny's Franchisee And Hurricane Grill & Wings Owner, Imposes Surcharge For Obamacare
While some business owners threaten to cut workers' hours to avoid paying for their health care, a West Palm Beach, Fla., restaurant owner is going even further. John Metz said he will add a 5 percent surcharge to customers' bills to offset what he said are the increased costs of Obamacare, along with reducing his employees' hours.
"If I leave the prices the same, but say on the menu that there is a 5 percent surcharge for Obamacare, customers have two choices. They can either pay it and tip 15 or 20 percent, or if they really feel so inclined, they can reduce the amount of tip they give to the server, who is the primary beneficiary of Obamacare," Metz told The Huffington Post. "Although it may sound terrible that I'm doing this, it's the only alternative. I've got to pass the cost on to the consumer."
Seriously dude. You lost. Get over it. The CEO of Papa John's doing something similar too.. I mean, as if the Peyton Manning buying into the franchise wasnt enough to get an all out boycott.. this makes it official. Of course, since I'd rather eat frozen elios, uncooked, than papa johns.. perhaps I'm not one to talk. That shit is gross!
7. Depsite those douches staying in business
This happened today.. Sad time for fat kids all across the country... but great times for headline writers in San Francisco..
This just in from the makers of Twinkies, Ding Dongs, Cupcakes and all things munchy related, Hostess:
“Hostess Brands is Closed.
We are sorry to announce that Hostess Brands, Inc. has been forced by a Bakers Union strike to shut down all operations and sell all company assets.”
Honestly, havent eaten anything Hostess made in quite some time. But I sure did love me some Funny Bones back in the day. Fear not though, as it seems the recipe -- and the obestity -- will live on.
But a guy in the newsroom summed it up nicely today. The problem is, the target audience, who grew up eating that shit, are all old now.. and know better than to feed that shit to THEIR kids..
(love the comments on that old hostess commercial. "Yeah, eat it fat girl!" bwahahah)
In memorium.. albeit.. temporarily
8. Hey Guy
This has been out for a couple of days, but priceless nonetheless. Guy Fieri's new restaurant getting bombed in the NY Times.. In his defense, I'm sure he has nothing to do with that place other than cashing the checks...
Highlights:
9. On the Road.. Again
New trailer for the new movie. I just hope we dont have to wait in line with Twi-hards when it comes out..
10. Get the Fuck out of Here
As lame as this sounds, the title alone may be enough to make me watch.
Seriously, those sisters in The Figher were the best part of the movie. I could definitely watch an hour of that shit a week...
11. Kim to the Rescue
Phew! WWIII Averted!
But just in case.. Israel is apparently, prepared.
12. Reilly-Twitter gate
From our stupid ass sport pundit correspondent.. this has also been out there for a few days, but its now hitting a fever pitch
Heres the original video that started it all.. (note Steve Young's Face.. which is priceless.. and Stu SCott, even though clearly pissed, still caved )
Young later explained the death stare..
That prompts fellow blowhard Mike Francesca to weigh in...
Later, ESPN CO-WORKER Ed Werder takes his shot at Reilly..
Then, Toucher and Rich give their take.. sending their screener to a night club armed with only Rick Reilly jokes... hilarious, b/c they're not hilarious.
And finally, as the internet is want to do.. a dance remix is born.
And of course, the very best part of all of this.. is he probably didnt really have it first on twitter after all...
13. It Gets Fuller
Hilarious PSA for men stuck in that "in between" phase on their Movember moustache.. (of course, like Swanson, I never have such problems, so I cannot relate... but I can enjoy the comedy factor)
( Ugly Geraldo... bwahahahah )
14. Move over Dark Side of the Rainbow
There's a new kick-ass mashup in town.. and it's even easier.. did we ever figure out the exact start time by the way? You hit play on Dark Side when the lion roars in the beginning of Oz, right? Somehow I always felt like it was a lil off...
15. Trip to/in the cap?
Apparently, we need to make a trek up to Portchester. Obviously, I've heard countless, nasty Dead tapes from there.. but the new and improved and renovated theater is now known as ... The Psychedlic Rock Palace
Partway through the night’s opening number, “Jack Straw,” the Cap turned on their high-definition projectors, which painted the theater’s walls with unique visuals at select points during the night. Cap proprietor—and Relix publisher—Peter Shapiro brought in the high-end projectors to cement the venue’s reputations as “a psychedelic rock palace.” The theater’s team has been working with artists to custom design projections for their shows and, during “He’s Gone,” the Dead’s Steal Your Face insignia was projected on the venue’s multi-story walls (the song includes the iconic “steal your face” lyrics).
Sidenote: Video of the Phil Stairway to Heaven has been posted.. No Stairway? Wrong! Un-denied!
16. Best. Weatherman. Ever
Why dont we get news talent like that? I'd watch his forecasts.. This dude has seen some shit. literally.
17 . Full Show Friday
Not for the feint of heart.. as today's edition.. gets weird.
Primus. Woodstock. 94. Enjoy
6. Douche of the Day
Well, co-douche, as he's not the only CEO doing something like this..
John Metz, Denny's Franchisee And Hurricane Grill & Wings Owner, Imposes Surcharge For Obamacare
While some business owners threaten to cut workers' hours to avoid paying for their health care, a West Palm Beach, Fla., restaurant owner is going even further. John Metz said he will add a 5 percent surcharge to customers' bills to offset what he said are the increased costs of Obamacare, along with reducing his employees' hours.
"If I leave the prices the same, but say on the menu that there is a 5 percent surcharge for Obamacare, customers have two choices. They can either pay it and tip 15 or 20 percent, or if they really feel so inclined, they can reduce the amount of tip they give to the server, who is the primary beneficiary of Obamacare," Metz told The Huffington Post. "Although it may sound terrible that I'm doing this, it's the only alternative. I've got to pass the cost on to the consumer."
Seriously dude. You lost. Get over it. The CEO of Papa John's doing something similar too.. I mean, as if the Peyton Manning buying into the franchise wasnt enough to get an all out boycott.. this makes it official. Of course, since I'd rather eat frozen elios, uncooked, than papa johns.. perhaps I'm not one to talk. That shit is gross!
7. Depsite those douches staying in business
This happened today.. Sad time for fat kids all across the country... but great times for headline writers in San Francisco..
Hostess Plans to Close, Stoners Say: NOOOOOOoooooooo!
This just in from the makers of Twinkies, Ding Dongs, Cupcakes and all things munchy related, Hostess:
“Hostess Brands is Closed.
We are sorry to announce that Hostess Brands, Inc. has been forced by a Bakers Union strike to shut down all operations and sell all company assets.”
Honestly, havent eaten anything Hostess made in quite some time. But I sure did love me some Funny Bones back in the day. Fear not though, as it seems the recipe -- and the obestity -- will live on.
But a guy in the newsroom summed it up nicely today. The problem is, the target audience, who grew up eating that shit, are all old now.. and know better than to feed that shit to THEIR kids..
(love the comments on that old hostess commercial. "Yeah, eat it fat girl!" bwahahah)
In memorium.. albeit.. temporarily
8. Hey Guy
This has been out for a couple of days, but priceless nonetheless. Guy Fieri's new restaurant getting bombed in the NY Times.. In his defense, I'm sure he has nothing to do with that place other than cashing the checks...
Highlights:
What exactly about a small salad with four or five miniature croutons
makes Guy’s Famous Big Bite Caesar (a) big (b) famous or (c) Guy’s, in
any meaningful sense?
Were you struck by how very far from awesome the Awesome Pretzel Chicken
Tenders are? If you hadn’t come up with the recipe yourself, would you
ever guess that the shiny tissue of breading that exudes grease onto the
plate contains either pretzels or smoked almonds? Did you discern any
buttermilk or brine in the white meat, or did you think it tasted like
chewy air?
New trailer for the new movie. I just hope we dont have to wait in line with Twi-hards when it comes out..
10. Get the Fuck out of Here
As lame as this sounds, the title alone may be enough to make me watch.
Mark Wahlberg will also make a reality show about Boston women, because what, you think he won't?
Get the fuck out of here
Perhaps after having heard about Jersey Shore producer SallyAnn Salsanno's Southie Pride, and its plans to explore South Boston's august heritage of hitting people who use words like "august heritage," Mark Wahlberg is stepping in with his own show about tough Boston women lobbing harsh vowel sounds at each other, because who the fuck is Sally Salsanno? She ain't no Southie. Get the fuck out of here.
Seriously, those sisters in The Figher were the best part of the movie. I could definitely watch an hour of that shit a week...
11. Kim to the Rescue
Phew! WWIII Averted!
But just in case.. Israel is apparently, prepared.
12. Reilly-Twitter gate
From our stupid ass sport pundit correspondent.. this has also been out there for a few days, but its now hitting a fever pitch
Heres the original video that started it all.. (note Steve Young's Face.. which is priceless.. and Stu SCott, even though clearly pissed, still caved )
Young later explained the death stare..
That prompts fellow blowhard Mike Francesca to weigh in...
Later, ESPN CO-WORKER Ed Werder takes his shot at Reilly..
Then, Toucher and Rich give their take.. sending their screener to a night club armed with only Rick Reilly jokes... hilarious, b/c they're not hilarious.
And finally, as the internet is want to do.. a dance remix is born.
And of course, the very best part of all of this.. is he probably didnt really have it first on twitter after all...
13. It Gets Fuller
Hilarious PSA for men stuck in that "in between" phase on their Movember moustache.. (of course, like Swanson, I never have such problems, so I cannot relate... but I can enjoy the comedy factor)
( Ugly Geraldo... bwahahahah )
14. Move over Dark Side of the Rainbow
There's a new kick-ass mashup in town.. and it's even easier.. did we ever figure out the exact start time by the way? You hit play on Dark Side when the lion roars in the beginning of Oz, right? Somehow I always felt like it was a lil off...
15. Trip to/in the cap?
Apparently, we need to make a trek up to Portchester. Obviously, I've heard countless, nasty Dead tapes from there.. but the new and improved and renovated theater is now known as ... The Psychedlic Rock Palace
Partway through the night’s opening number, “Jack Straw,” the Cap turned on their high-definition projectors, which painted the theater’s walls with unique visuals at select points during the night. Cap proprietor—and Relix publisher—Peter Shapiro brought in the high-end projectors to cement the venue’s reputations as “a psychedelic rock palace.” The theater’s team has been working with artists to custom design projections for their shows and, during “He’s Gone,” the Dead’s Steal Your Face insignia was projected on the venue’s multi-story walls (the song includes the iconic “steal your face” lyrics).
Sidenote: Video of the Phil Stairway to Heaven has been posted.. No Stairway? Wrong! Un-denied!
16. Best. Weatherman. Ever
Why dont we get news talent like that? I'd watch his forecasts.. This dude has seen some shit. literally.
17 . Full Show Friday
Not for the feint of heart.. as today's edition.. gets weird.
Primus. Woodstock. 94. Enjoy
