Wednesday, April 24, 2013

Back to (ab)Norml

1. Where's Don Draper When You Need Him?

I always love these slideshows.. and this one is no exception.

Advertisements You Will Never See Again


My personal favorites?

The real reason he's smiling... she's givin him a lil somethin extra under the counter



Words to live by


2. Hittin Em When They're Down

But in J-Stew's defense... they're making it so damn easy...







Jon Stewart Is Not Quite Done Making Fun of CNN


CNN's terrible, horrible, no good, very bad week was great news for Jon Stewart.


The Daily Show host bookended the last seven days with two segments recapping just how miserable things have gotten at the 24-hour news network.

This is what has been happening on cable news for the past few hours: After insisting that they had

On last night's show, Stewart did acknowledge that CNN's coverage of the Boston Marathon bombing had improved since its now-infamous fuck-up, noting that the network's subsequently extra-slow reporting is "a much more responsible way of broadcasting than your usual say it first and have Anderson Cooper correct it later."


((follow link above for the video for all you non-daily show watchers.. it really is just too easy.))



3. The Most Epic Dick Joke Of All Time

Cue the theme to 2001...



NASA redfaced after lewd image snapped by Rover on Mars


This crude image was snapped by the Curiosity Rover on Mars.
 
NASA space geeks have been caught with their pants down after a lewd image appeared on the surface of MARS.
The rude drawing has emerged in a series of images taken by one of its Rover machines.
The $2.5 billion Curiosity rover robot probe landed on Mars in August last year and is meant to be used to examine the red planet's surface in search of life.

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Could be the best 2.5 Billion the gov't has ever spent


4. And In Snoop News

This is what happens when you invite Snoop over for a live interview..


And this is what happens when you bad mouth Snoop in the press.. you bring the "dogg" back out.. So much for the calmer, gentler, Rastafarier Snoop..

Q&A: Snoop Lion Strikes Back at 'Reincarnated' Collaborator Bunny Wailer

'You wasn't the s**t in the Wailers,' he says of Bob Marley's bandmate



Some highlights:

Would it be meaningful for you to have a conversation directly with him?
I mean, it would be meaningful for him to talk to me. He's the one supposedly putting out the negative energy. I coulda said, "Fuck that n***a. Bitch-ass n***a." I'm still a gangsta – don't get it fucked up. I'm growing to a man, so as a man, do I wanna revert back to my old ways and fuck this n***a up, or move forward, shine with the light? It's nothing. I've been hit before.

So he wanted more money to be on the album than you were willing to pay?
The reason for him not being on the album is I started hearing negative energy and rather than have him be a part of it, I kept him in the movie to show his positivity against his negativity. Here this comes out of left field to make me go back, be the old ignorant-ass n***a...
It's like, people take my kindness for weakness. In the Nineties, he could have never tried that because I'd have slapped the dog shit out of his old ass. How dare you? After all I've done for you? How dare you? You wasn't the shit in the Wailers. You was just one of them: Bob, Peter Tosh, then you. They dead mean more than you do alive. You get the energy? When it should have been, 'Hey, this brother is putting me back in the light; I could possibly get on the road with him, be on his album, eat again. Let me get in line. This is Snoop Dogg; he's already a star.' It should have been, play along with me as opposed to stick me up. I'm gonna give you what you worth, but you not gonna stick me up.

5. Into The Great Wide Open

Never thought I'd be saying this about the Iditarod.. but wow. Great read from Grantland:

 

6. Rock On

And this is why he's America's Badass.. and you're not.. This.. and the steroids.

 
Dwayne 'The Rock' Johnson (Twitter)Despite being sidelined by surgery, Dwayne Johnson is still one tough guy.


7. And Then There's Douche

There's awesome slideshows.. and then there's this.. words don't do it justice.

Maximum level of DOUCHEBAG reached (21 photos)

Here's a sneak peak:



8. And Speaking of Douches


We need to make this happen just for unintentional comedy's sake...

Wahlberg: For Boston, I'd bring back the Funky Bunch

Posted by Emily Wright  April 24, 2013 02:06 PM 

It could be time for Marky Mark to "bring forth the rhythm and the rhyme" once again.

Boston hunk Mark "Marky Mark" Wahlberg told a TMZ reporter that he would consider reuniting the Funky Bunch to raise money for Boston after the Marathon bombings. The rapper-turned-"Pain & Gain" actor chatted quickly with media as he left T.C. Williams High School in Alexandria, Va. this morning.
"Mark, would you ever do a once in a lifetime concert for the victims of Boston?" the camera man asked him. "Absolutely," Wahlberg replied.
The reporter then put his foot in his mouth by messing up the rest of the group's name (oops).
"As Marky Mark and the Fun Bunch?"
"Funky Bunch, but close," Wahlberg answered. "Why not?"
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"Boston Hunk" my words... not  Emily's... and in other Fun Bunch news...


Marky Mark on the things you have to do to make people happy...


Marky Mark on the things you have to do to make people happy...



9. WAIT! CNN HAS REDEEMED THEMSELVES!



10. I Will Strike Down Upon Thee With Great Vengeance and Fuuuuuurrrious Anger!

From our "Soomary" like sword correspondent...


Samurai sword-wielding Mormon bishop comes to aid of Utah neighbor chased and attacked by stalker, authorities say

'This is what I have for home defense,' said Kent Hendrix, who has owned sword since he was 17.













 Kent Hendrix, 47, draws his sword near his house Tuesday, April 23, 2013, in Salt Lake City. Hendrix, a Samurai sword-wielding Mormon bishop came to the aid of a woman who was being attacked in front of his house. Hendrix woke up Tuesday to his teenage son pounding on his bedroom door and telling him somebody was being mugged. Hendrix grabbed a 29-inch Samurai sword and rushed out the door. He says the man attacking a woman jumped back and ran down the street after he drew the sword. The man was chased until he jumped in his car and drove away.

Kent Hendrix shows off his 29-inch Samurai sword.

Wouldn't you? 

 

11. Parents Just Don't Understand
 Dont' know why kids would do this, but glad they did.. because the results are hilarious..
 
Comedian Nathan Fielder came up with a wonderful idea yesterday. He instructed his Twitter followers to text "got 2 grams for $20" to their parents, immediately follow up with "Sorry ignore that txt. Not for you," and then tweet a screenshot of the ensuing conversation. The results were, as you might imagine, hilarious.



12. Clash of the Titans

Now this is something I never thought I'd type.. here's a link to the guys from The Dead covering The Clash... nice
 
 


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