Got to get over the Hump

1. Happiness Is A Warm... Yes It Is

Guuuuuuuuu-uuuuuu-uuuuunnnnn

Cops: Teen Had Loaded Revolver In Her Vagina

Stolen weapon found during search at Tennessee jail 

APRIL 22--A 19-year-old Tennessee woman had a loaded handgun hidden in her vagina when she was brought into jail yesterday afternoon following a collar for driving with a suspended license, police report.
As Dallas Archer was being booked into the Kingsport jail, a female corrections officer alerted to an “unknown object” in the teenager’s crotch during a search.
The jailer and a female cop then accompanied Archer to a bathroom for further examination, a review that led to the recovery of a “North American Arms 22 LR revolver (loaded) which Ms. Dallas had concealed in her vagina,” according to a Kingsport Police Department report.

 

She's not a girl.. who misses much...

 

 

2. Sharp Dressed Man

Phish fans have long known about Cactus' unique brand of style...

But no one expected him to make it into Esquire! Must have been the scarves..

How I Dress Now: Phish's Mike Gordon

An inside look at bucking expectations and dressing like a rock star.

James Joiner / Esquire

Notch collar jacket ($1,298) and sheer paisley scarf ($198) by John Varvatos, johnvarvatos.com.

The name Phish doesn’t call to mind style, at least not in the traditional sense. 

It's understandable that the band's mere mention brings to mind a sea of dusty tie-dye and massive patchwork corduroy pants. This wookie-hippie image is harder to shake than a head full of wet dreadlocks, but the band, and to some degree their scene, is still going strong more than 30 years deep, and has undergone some transformations. 

Musical evolution is inevitable with a group like Phish who, love or hate them, is overflowing with creativity and talent, but you might be surprised to see that these themes also extends to the band's appearance—and we're not just talking about playing a vacuum cleaner while wearing a dress. And, with the recent embrace of Birkenstocks and Tevas, the fashion world might just be ready to meet them halfway. 

With these developments on our minds, we met up with bassist Mike Gordon at the Massachusetts Museum of Contemporary Art, where he was winding up a solo tour in support of his new album, Overstep, to get a glimpse into the surprisingly very stylish men

 

Some highlights:

Even the band knows Fishman outside of his dress, isn't Fishman at all.. 

The dress is still around. Yeah, that never went away. That was a ritual too. If he [Jon Fishman, drummer] didn’t wear the dress it would be a bad gig. He had a three-piece suit he was wearing at one point too for a while, and those were bad gigs, and so back came the dress.

Prince invited Phish to one of his parties..(no word on if he served them blueberry pancakes)

We got ourselves invited to a party at Prince’s house. We heard it was creative formal, whatever that meant. So we went to this Italian suit shop, and within half an hour got four Italian suits, got pinned up and the whole deal. Then we got there and we learned what we thought was creative wasn’t creative

And oh yeah.. he shared the story behind this epic pic...

Yup. True Fashion Icons These Guys..

3. Oral (History) of the Week

The Story of Supertroopers! 

(Did you know.. Farva went to Law School.. and PASSED?!?! My mind has just been blown.. seriously.. this guy?

 

4. How's Ya Father?

 I dunno..looks like a flop to me..

5. I Love the 80's

And now I have a quantifiable number to show how much... thanks to another of Buzz Feed;s handy quizzes..

 The sadder thing really is how many of these I actually own on DVD... 

 And no.. I'm not telling anyone my number..

 

6. I Feel A Healin' Comin' On

... among other things.

Canadian Strip Club Doubles As Church

A gentleman's club in Guelph, Ontario, is holding church services right on the stage next to the stripper pole.
The Manor, as the club is called, held services for the first time on Easter.
Jack Ninaber and his wife Sharon decided they would host a Christian fellowship service at the unconventional space in order to bring religion to those who don't feel comfortable seeking it out, CTV reports.


I heard this guy gave the Easter Mass..



7. Life Hacks -- Office Edition

I love all of these.. though I have yet to actually implement any of them. 

Although I think this could really bring some pizazz to my cubicle.. 

Washi Tape Or Nail Polish

= Gadget Chargers With Personality

Right now the only decoration I have is...

8. The Future Is Now

Apparently, the forward thinkers of 1964 were on the right track.. somewhat. Still waiting on those jetpacks (and hoverboards for that matter)

1964 World’s Fair tech predictions had some hits, misses

This 1964 file photo from the World's Fair in the Queens borough of New York shows a views of the future in the “Futurama 2” ride put together by General Motors. The millions of visitors who attended the New York World’s Fair that opened in 1964 were introduced to a range of technological innovations and predictions. Some of those turned out to be right on the money and others, perhaps thankfully, were way off the mark.

NEW YORK - Video phone calls? Yeah, we do that. Asking computers for information? Sure, several times a day. Colonies on the moon and jet packs as a mode of everyday transportation. OK, maybe not.
The New York World's Fair of 1964 introduced 51 million visitors to a range of technological innovations and predictions, some that turned out to be right on the money and others that, perhaps thankfully, were way off the mark.


While we're here.. remember the old Loony Tunes take on the future? Let's see how they stack up...

9. Happy Earth Day Hippies

In all seriousness, the Earth is pretty bad ass.. even when you're not high

10. Mashup Of The Week

This works so well, it's almost like Dark Side / Wizard of Oz.. you kinda have to wonder if they did it on purpose.. Either way, I have been rocking out to this non-stop for the past 24 hours.. and I'm not even remotely ashamed of that.

And talk about the Home of the Future. Ray Parker is the true visionary here..

Good Friday? Great Friday!

1. PSA of the Week

From our Public Defecation Correspondant.. In all seriousness, the more I hear about India the more amazing it sounds. I gotta check this place out!

India Has A Problem With People Sh*tting In Public, So They Made A PSA

Yup, apparently over half the population in India just craps right out in the open and we're pretty sure a video of dancing poops isn't going to help.

 

 

2. Meanwhile.. across the street

Women are doing awful things with toy planes.. can we get a PSA on this? Also, US Airways is now officially the only Airline I will travel. 

3. Fake-Out of the Week

And speaking of flying... Pretty ingenious plan really. I know I wouldn't have went in for a closer inspection. Makes me feel very safe about flying...

 

‘Brown substance’ in traveler’s underwear turns out to be heroin

By Daniel Prendergast

April 15, 2014 | 1:29pm

Modal Trigger

The pound-and-a-half of heroin found in the smuggler's underwear.

 

A fidgety arriving passenger caught the attention of Customs agents at JFK, and their hunch was right — he had two pounds of heroin in his underwear.
Trinidad national Bernard Charles had just stepped off Caribbean Airlines flight 520 from Port-of-Spain April 1 when Customs and Border Protection agents spotted him acting nervously, officials said
Charles was “walking awkwardly” and “avoided eye contact” with the officers, causing them to grow more suspicious, according to a complaint filed in Brooklyn Federal court.
As his luggage was being inspected, they noticed that Charles, 42, was “wearing loose fitting clothing, giving him a bulky appearance.”
CPB Officers then pulled him out of line and took him to a private search room where he was patted down and found with two clear packages stuffed in his underwear containing a “brown paste-like substance.”
The substance turned out to be more than a pound and a half of heroin with an approximate street value of $70,000, officials said.
Bernard was handed over to Homeland Security Investigations and charged with narcotics smuggling.
He could face up to 10 years in prison.

4. Kids Say the Darndest Things

 Amazing/depressing video in that.. whoever thought of this idea is a genius. Depressing in that, yes we are very old. Although, I'm sure I'd make a similar face if someone showed me a phonograph.

 

 

5. Naw, You Ain't Hardcore! 

Guess he ran out of things to rap about.. 

Rapper Andre Johnson severs penis, jumps off building, but survives

Los Angeles (CNN) -- Rapper Andre Johnson severed his penis and jumped from a Los Angeles apartment building early Wednesday, police said. 

Johnson was seriously injured, but survived the fall from the second level of the building in North Hollywood, Los Angeles Police Sgt. William Mann said.

Johnson, along with his recovered penis, was taken to Cedars-Sinai Medical Center, where he was being treated, Mann said.

Details about what triggered the incident were not available.

Johnson has been a member of Northstar, a Long Beach, California, hip hop group that was part of the Wu-Tang Clan family, according to the Wu-Tang Clan website. He performs under the name Christ Bearer.

His recording credits include "When the Guns Come Out," which was included on the soundtrack of the 2004 film "Blade: Trinity," according to the Internet Movie Database.

 

 

**One very important update.. Wu-Tang wants to make sure everyone knows.. they have nothing to do with this guy. 

 

And of course, while we're here..

6. Headline of the Week

HuffPost does it again!

 

7. YouTube Find of the Week

Where was I when this show was happening? Had no idea such amazing TV like this was being crafted by Fox. The commentary is by far the best part, and on par with anything Marv Albert or Dick Enberg ever did in their wildest dreams..

Keith Hernandez.. on the other hand...

 

 

8. Makin' Whoopi

From our "Here Sippy, Sippy" Correspondant... 

Whoopi Goldberg Has A Pot Column Now

It's no secret that Whoopi Goldberg knows a little about pot. Now, she is sharing that knowledge in a new column for the Denver Post's pot site.
Goldberg made her debut on Thursday in a piece for the Cannabist called "My vape pen and I, a love story." In it, she explains how her daughter introduced her to the vaporizer pen and how she's been using it ever since.
She waxed poetic about her vape pen, which she said has helped her "live comfortably with glaucoma."
"The vape pen has changed my life," Goldberg declared. "No, I’m not exaggerating. In fact, her name is Sippy. Yes, she’s a she. And yes, I named her Sippy because I take tiny, little sips -- sassy sips, even -- from her. And with each sip comes relief -- from pressure, pain, stress, discomfort."

Perhaps that explains this..

9. Oral of the Week

This was actually in EW a few weeks ago.. but have to give some love to one of my all-time favorite movies..Heathers!

Heathers': An oral history

Biggest surprise? Shannen Doherty was a prude!

Smallest surprise? She was also a complete diva.

Other cool tidbits.. Jennifer Connoly, Justine Bateman, and Heather Graham all turned down roles in the movie.. IDIOTS!

 

10.  Long(ish) Reads of the Week

The Lessons of Barry Sanders (you mean, besides the "madden juke"?)

The Inside Story of Nirvana's Reunion (I knew Cobain was alive!) 

Early Tapers, the United Dead Freaks of America, and the Dawn of Relix  (The lesson..as always.. Phil is the Man)

Yasiel Puig's Escape to America (Financed by this guy..

11. To The Tunes!

Lots of tasty finds this week.. 

*1st and foremost.. Full Show Friday featuring My Morning Jacket!  

*Then, Get Your Ass To Mars... Courtesy of legendary Phish-hater, Gregg Allman  

*And last but not least.. kick off the weekend proppa like, with the Original Bad, Bad Man..
Paul Shaffer...just kidding.. J.B.!

Letterman Music Files | James Brown Greatest Visit

Earlier this month we started a new column called Letterman Music Files devoted to sharing amazing musical performances from David Letterman's tenure as host of NBC's Late Night and CBS's The Late Show. The first installment featured Jerry Garcia and Bob Weir in 1989. Today we present the second installment.

Dave welcomed the "Godfather Of Soul," aka James Brown, to Late Night during his first season as host in 1982. Unlike 99.99% of musical acts who wound up visiting the program, Letterman respected James Brown enough to let him perform multiple songs. James Brown delivers phenomenal versions of "Sex Machine," "There Was A Time" and an impromptu take on "I Got The Feeling."

 James Brown was backed by Late Night's "World's Most Dangerous Band," which featured Paul Shaffer, Will Lee, Steve Jordan and Hiram Bullock at that time, along with the JB Horns. Shaffer recounted the evening in his We'll Be Here For The Rest Of Our Lives memoir:
The best move I ever made was to perform with Mr. Brown on Letterman. His first appearance came in 1982 when we were on NBC. "Mr Brown," I said, "this is the honor of a lifetime. Just tell me what you'd like to play."
His answer astonished me. "What do you guys want to play, Paul?"
At the time, my World's Most Dangerous Band featured the great Will Lee on bass plus Steve Jordan, drums, and Hiram Bullock, guitar - three brilliant cats. I let the band pick the songs. Steve said, "Sex Machine" for the drumming. Hiram said, "There Was a Time" for the rhythm guitar. Will was cool with all of it.
On "Sex Machine," James wanted a fast tempo. That's the tradition of live R&B. It's all about energy. Steve Jordan, though, was a young buck who wanted to re-create the groove he'd heard on wax. He didn't quite understand that when you deal with the Godfather of Soul, you put the groove where he wants it. James won out and the funk got thick. He played his short keyboard solo and at the end of the song slapped me ten. I told him I wouldn't wash my hands for a week. During the break, as the band played a small portion of "I Got the Feeling," James took note.
When we were back on the air, James said, "Hey Dave, you know what I'd like to do right now? Before you close, can we close with 'I Got the Feeling?' "
"Sure thing," said Dave. "Soon as we come back from one more break."
Once the commercial was over, we hit it: an unrehearsed full-blown version of "I Got the Feeling." The audience went crazy. Dave joined the James Brown Fan Club.
Watch how it went down:

If that shit doesn't get you outta your chair... you're missing out on life.

Have a great weekend yawl!

-Z

Let The Music Take Your Mind

1. Music Video of the Week

Cactus' is his name.. Drills are his game...

And where can one find some of that magical honey?



2. Theme Song of the Week


Words do not do this justice...

3. Supergroup of the Week

Flea joining forces with the Mars Volta... interesting.. they've released a couple tracks and some rehearsal video...



4. Cover(s) of the Week

Tedeschi Trucks do "Corrinna"

Umphrey's McGee does "Africa"

Dog and Saw do Minglewood

5. Sneak Peak of the Week

Nice look at Jerry and Bobby rehearsing for Letterman back in the day (and the 2nd that Emotion played on the show)

If you've never seen their various appearances on his show.. definitely check them out. (From 1982) (From 1987) Not only great tunes... but hilarious interviews.. Quality stuff..


6. Sit-Ins of the Week

Trey with Cactus Band for Cities..

Page & Fish with Cactus for "555"

Bob Dylan with the Dead for "Rainy Day Women"



7. Interview of the Week

Cash


8. PSA of the Week

13 things you didnt know you could do on spotify...


9. Concert Announcement of the Week

Well, he's calling it a "wellness retreat".. but, amazing nonetheless..

Snoop Dogg Hosting 4/20 'Wellness Retreat' in Pot-Friendly States

Rapper will play Seattle and Denver with Wiz Khalifa

Snoop Dogg will be celebrating April 20th this year as only Snoop knows how. To commemorate the unofficial pot smoker's holiday, the rapper will host two "Wellness Retreat" concerts with Wiz Khalifa in the two most marijuana-friendly states in the land: Washington and Colorado. 

Featuring the slogan "Inhale. Exhale. Recharge," Snoop's Wellness Retreat will kick off on Saturday, April 19th at Seattle's WaMu Theater before heading to Red Rocks Theater in Denver for 4/20 itself. Just in case the holiday theme wasn't evident enough from its pot-leaf-emblazoned design, the event's poster also directs fans to "Get higher with recreational gurus Snoop Dogg and Wiz Khalifa." The Denver event will also feature YG and Smoke DZA, while the Seattle date simply boasts "additional special guests to be announced."
Colorado and Washington both passed ballot initiatives legalizing recreational marijuana this year, although openly smoking in public is still not technically allowed.
Despite multiple arrests for marijuana possession in less enlightened locales, Snoop has made no secret of his fondness for the herb. Just before Coachella 2012, he even announced plans to release a "Smokable Songbook" of his lyrics printed on hemp-seed rolling paper.
Snoop Dogg will also be performing with the Roots at the end of May during the seventh annual Roots Picnic in Pennsylvania, a state which has not yet legalized recreational marijuana.

10. Full Show Friday

Phil & Friends with Trey & Page... oh this one brings me back





11. And in Other News

Yay Science!

Yay Grandma!

Oh, Atlanta!


RIP Ultimate Warrior!

Get Your Popcorn Ready

1. Dunn Dunn Dun Dun Dun Dun .. Dun Dun Duuuuuuuuuun

For those of you scratching your heads.. thats my written version of the Greatest Theme Song of All Time...

And yes.. it can mean only one thing.. Game of Thrones is back this weekend!! And if you weren't already sporting a tent over the season 4 premiere, then the all-out media blitz that's been going on this week will certainly put you over the top.

1st and foremost, if like me, you had a hard time remembering the several plates spinning in season 3.. check out this nifty recap HBO put together. I definitely forgot about some things.. but of course, who could forget this..

You could also print out this handy, cheat sheet to have with you if you want to keep everything straight, but I prefer this Grantland Season 4 "pre-cap".. as only Grantland could do.

Yes, there's been a Vanity Fair Cover Story... a fancy Red Carpet Premiere Party (Sally Field?!?!?) .. and even a GoT Fantasy Package (sorry, not what you think ladies).

And just to completely over-saturate the media...  GoT Actors Without Their Costumes is also worth a look... (although it's not as good as Pornstars Without Make-Up) .

And for the record, sometimes it pays to be a dwarf's height..

For those of you who dismiss GoT has nerdy, fantasy nonsense.. the good folks at HuffPost have taken the time to remind us that its really 'bout dis life.

But nothing tops this gem from Lena Headey's Instagram feed...

I wanna party with you, man!

If none of that gets your blood flowin'..this certainly will..

2. Where Are They Now...

Junior, er Flynn edition!

Yes, I took this pic myself at my local Gap. Wow. Get after it, RJ!

3. Hamm'd

And speaking of AMC... he may play The Ladies Man on "Mad Men"..but as this video proves, the real John Hamm is anything but.. ouch.

Of course, that's not the worst dating show performance I've ever seen..

"this is one fucked up game show"

4.  Fool's Gold

Yes, for those of you who forgot (like me) Tuesday actually April Fool's Day. I guess these are just the type of things that fall off the radar when you're elbow deep in diapers all day.. but luckily, lots of people DID NOT forget America's Favorite Holiday... and the internet is there to report for us.

For example..

Proving even big corporations have a sense of humor...

(my personal favorite... because clearly, this needs to be a real thing, because.. 'Merica)

And of the "heartwarming prank" variety..

And of the nerdy variety.. (only NPR could pull of a prank so lame)

And of the.. damn, I wish this was true variety..

Holographic Jerry Garcia to perform with The Garcia Project!

April 1, 2014

We are thrilled to announce that The Garcia Project will have a full time Jerry Garcia hologram performing with us this summer! This hologram will be programmed to "jam" and not just do static riffs and licks. Guitarist and Vocalist, Mik Bondy, of The Garcia Project will man the controls from the sound board instead of playing guitar and singing on stage.
"It's kind of like operating a puppet" , said Mik Bondy. "We love the music of Jerry Garcia, so why not just have him play it!". "We have the 90's jerry programmed now and in the future, we hope to have 70's and 80's Jerrys programmed as well".
The holographic Jerry or "holojer" has been in development for over two years at a cost of around $50,000. Come out this summer and see HOLOJER perform with The Garcia Project!
April 1, 2014 <fools?> Never trust a prankster ;)



((Would still be better than Dark Star Orchestra))

5. Sadly .. Not A Prank

Ouch.

Workers Mistake Woman's Corpse For April Fools' Prank

A desk clerk at an apartment complex in St. Petersburg, Fla., was fired after tossing a dead body into a dumpster because he thought it was just an April Fools' day prank. 

 Ronald Benjamin, 61, first saw the body when he took a smoking break around 4:30 a.m. Tuesday morning, but thought it was fake."I'm telling you, I swear to God, the face looked like a rubber mask," he told TampaBay.com. "If I thought for one instant it was a real person I would have called the police, my manager, everyone I could think of." 


6. Probably Wishing He Could Call It A Prank

Oh, Franco...this is what happens when you get too high and play on social media...

James Franco connected with a teenage fan on Instagram—and then some interesting DMs surfaced

 

The DMs show Franco asking for her number. The messages switch to texts, and Franco then allegedly asks if he should rent a room. “April fools was an hour ago though…” Clode responds. 

She eventually turns him down. “I’ll come back when I’m 18,” she says.

To prove it’s him, Franco apparently writes Lucy’s name on a piece of paper and takes a selfie with it. The communication ends here.

Update: It may not be a prank..but was it a publicity stunt? 



7. Perhaps we should ask Big Papi

My first thought was.. of course, classic Big Papi.. putting himself in front of the team.. literally. (Although I love that Farrell is essentially photo-bombing them). By now, you've all heard .. the REST of the story.. 

Of course, Ortiz denies it.. though Johnny Gomes may have given him away.. 

And even though Papi has since tried to make good... he still suffered a jab today at the hands of non other than Officer Dic Donohue! Well played, Dic.

Still..somehow, I think Big Papi is doin' just fine..

8. Meanwhile .. in New York..

hahahahhahaha.... game 3?!?! bwahahahaha...no seriously, it's too easy.

 

9. You Like Trix?

 

Cereal box characters are staring at your children, study says

 

Sonny the Cuckoo Bird's stare may be making your kids "cuckoo for Cocoa Puffs." 

A new study of cereal aisles at grocery stores found cereal products marketed to kids are placed half as high on shelves as cereals marketed for adults, so they can appear closer to eye level. The characters on the kids cereal boxes, such as the Trix Rabbit and Cap'n Crunch, also appeared to be looking downwards at a 9.7-degree angle, whereas characters on adult boxes looked straight ahead.

The researchers said this marketing strategy of having cartoon characters lock eyes with children may influence their connection with a brand, fostering loyalty and inspiring their interest in the products.

Perhaps that is why I still have wet dreams involving this guy...

Man, I love me some Peanut Butter Crunch.. shit is like crack!

10. You Get What You Pay For

Kings of Leon concertgoers may have been exposed to measles

Woman who was infected attended the band's March 28th show in Seattle

Back in 2010, Kings of Leon were forced to cancel a concert in St. Louis because of dastardly powers beyond their control, specifically a bunch of shit-happy pigeons. (There’s nothing like a refreshing, crisp drizzle of rain during a steamy outdoors set, but brown sludgy droppings are another story, ya know?) Four years later, another stroke of bad luck has struck the Nashville rockers while on the road, but this time around it’s a little more serious than poop. Way more serious, in fact.
It seems everyone at Kings of Leon’s March 28th show at the Seattle’s Key Arena — including the band themselves — may been exposed to measles. As an editor of the city’s Sunbreak points out (via SPIN), the Washington State Health Department has flagged the show as a source of measles exposure due to an infected woman who was in attendance. According to the Department’s official statement, the woman had contracted the highly contagious disease two days before going to the concert.
Health officials encourage those concertgoers to check and make sure they were vaccinated. Those who have not been vaccinated should seek medical attention right away, as measles, in some instances, can be fatal.
The rest of Kings of Leon’s upcoming tour schedule, which is in continued support of last year’s Mechanical Bull, does not appear to be affected. Their next concert is tomorrow night at Saskatoon’s Credit Union Centre.




So to recap.. go to King of Leon if you want to get shat on, and perhaps come down with a highly infectious disease.. If you want to see swirlees for the next 20 years, go see these guys..

11. We've Got Bush

 

As if his Jay Leno portrait wasn't creepy enough... Dubya is now launching an all out offensive on foreign leaders... World War III is not far behind..

 

 

 

An Ex-President, Brush in Hand, Captures His Fellow Leaders
 

George Bush’s Portrait Exhibition Opens in Dallas 

 

A dour Vladimir Putin glares ever so frostily, full of menace, free of mirth, ready to annex any passer-by unwise enough to get too close.

Tony Blair stares ahead, sober and resolute. Hamid Karzai, in traditional green cap and cape, glances off to the side, almost as if checking over his shoulder for the Taliban — or perhaps for the United States. The Dalai Lama looks serene, Stephen Harper jovial, Jiang Zemin grim.

The world’s most distinctive gallery of international leaders opens in Dallas on Saturday, famous faces as seen through the eyes of the former president of the United States and noted amateur painter, George W. Bush. Graduating from dogs and cats and landscapes, Mr. Bush has produced a collection of more than two dozen portraits of foreign figures he encountered while in office and put them on display at his presidential library.

 

12. The Bachelor

And speaking of Putin.. the line forms to the right of Crimea ladies!

 

 

Vladimir Putin's Divorce: The Russian President Is Officially A Single Man

 

 

 

13. Headline of the Week

Perhaps of the year..

Willie Nelson's armadillo returned after theft

 

So many questions...so lil answers..

 

14. FSF

And since that damn Hologram tour isn't happening... here's a newly unearthed video of The Good Ol'.. doin their thing..

 

Grateful Dead 

12-31-79 

Oakland Auditorium Arena Oakland CA

 

Happy Friday Yawl!