Before we get to the links, I want to make sure everybody has heard about the peach recall. Very serious stuff, and I know it's that time of year, so if you have purchased any of these, make sure you throw them away, right away! Ok, onto the links.
1. Caption Contest
My submission:
"Some people say we only use 10% of our brains. I think we only use 10% of our hearts."
Enter yours below!
2. TGIF
Coughlin's Law: anything else is always something better.
3. #FF
Because don't you want to know amazing, handy facts like this...
Turtles can breathe through their butts.
4. Cumming Soon
Thanks to Comic Con there are tons of new trailers out this week... and a serious shortage of slutty halloween costumes (Not that there's anything wrong with that).
If you're interested in such things, you've probably already seen this.. twice. But The Walking Dead Season 5 trailer is out... having said that, you probably want to watch a 3rd time, just to be safe.
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In other TV news... after years of bashing each other, the good citizens of Springfield and Quahog are finally teaming up! (Spoiler alert: Homer and Peter quickly hit it off (shocking))
And while we are here.. let's take a stroll down Crossover Lane.... shall we?
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It's been nearly a decade in the making.. and as expected, Sin City 2 looks like it will be worth the wait.
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Don't worry kids, there's a new hero in town... and he loves pigeons, biting ears, and knockin' people the Fuck out!
5. Retrospective of the Week
Yet another nice read on yet another B-Boys masterpiece. And no, it's not at all depressing that this came out 25 years ago.
THE MAN WHO MADE THE BEASTIE BOYS' MASTERPIECE POSSIBLE
Paul's Boutique, 25 years later
By on July 25, 2014
Getty Images
When it was released on July 25, 1989, exactly 25 years ago, the Beastie Boys' Paul's Boutique confounded expectations. Those who expected a rap-rock follow-up to the band's multiplatinum debut, Licensed to Ill, found instead intricate sound collages pieced together from innumerable samples. The album was such a sales disappointment that it nearly cost the band their career, but the trio came back, leading to a reappraisal of Paul's Boutique, which would eventually go double-platinum and is now widely considered a classic and the Beasties' finest hour.
Dan LeRoy's book on the album, for Continuum's 33 1/3 series, revealed much of its untold story. The follow-up, For Whom the Cowbell Tolls: 25 Years of Paul's Boutique (out now), written with author Peter Relic, uncovers more hidden details, including the existence of outtakes from the album, and the inside story of how and why Capitol Records took such a huge chance on the Beasties. The following is an excerpt from that section of the book, titled, "Risk, Ridicule, Redemption: Capitol Records and Paul's Boutique."
"It was the rare moment where a lot of bands never get to, where all of a sudden, we had all the money and all the time and all the power to do whatever the fuck we wanted to do," Diamond remembered. He and his bandmates, Adam "Ad-Rock" Horovitz and Adam Yauch, better-known as MCA, "were free." And they were free because out of all the major labels in America, only Capitol could afford to grant them that freedom."
6. When Celebrities Attack... Each Other
It was a bad week for douchebags..
First, Freddie Prince Jr. lashed out at former colleague, Kieffer Sutherland.
First, Freddie Prince Jr. lashed out at former colleague, Kieffer Sutherland.
“Kiefer was the most unprofessional dude in the world,” he continued. “That’s not me talking trash, I’d say it to his face, I think everyone that’s worked with him has said that.”
Not surprising at all, I mean, we've all heard the stories. Freddie Prince is obviously a Pussy, and has no intention of saying anything like that to Jack Bauer's face. C'mon dude, Bauer's saved the world 8 times... all you've ever done is... ah, what have you done exactly? Oh yeah, this. I liked that movie a lot the first time I saw it when it was called Can't Buy Me Love.
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Next up, old friend Silent Bob with some strong words for Ben Afflack. Afflack is a curious case, as he's kinda slid all up and down the douchebag scale. I would say he started off as not a douchebag at all. But as his career took off, he started sliding down the spectrum into DB territory. Then, miraculously, he redeemed himself, but now, threatening to Daredevil everyone's beloved Batman, he's inching closer back into DB land. Obviously, revelations like these won't help:
Asked by Yahoo Movies on Friday about a potential Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice surprise at this year's Comic-Con — or if he knew whether or not Affleck was even in town — Smith replied: "Great question. I don’t know, because we're not f---ing tight. I have not been [close with him] in decades."
"That's old Ben," continued Smith, 43. "He's got a wife [Jennifer Garner] that don't [sic] care for me at all [Laughs]. And plus, honestly, he probably don't care for me at all anymore [either]. He's a triple-A-list movie star and s--t like that. If he's Jimmy Carter, I'm Billy Carter, to put it in '70s terms. And I'm not even related and s--t."
"Jennifer does not share the same sense of humor as me — she did not like my jokes," Smith said, according to the New York Daily News. "I was picking on Ben Affleck making fun of him because I've known him for a really long time — I was talking smack — and Jennifer goes, 'You know, if you keep saying stuff about him, I'm going to kick your a--.' And she could — I've seen Alias. She has a real girly sense of humor and didn't understand that I was kidding.
"I remember talking to Ben and being like, 'I know your lady is not finding me amusing. Ben, I've known you for years, and you are far sicker than I am!' His jokes are way dirtier than mine. He's made jokes to me, and I've been like, 'Ben, you need to go to church.'"
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-Of course, both of those were just the under-cards to the main event...
An Unlikely Hero Blooms in Ibiza: Orlando Bloom Sort of Punches Justin Bieber
One small swing for a washed up former heartthrob, one giant victory for mankind.
In the early hours of Wednesday morning, Orlando Bloom valiantly succeeded where the Miami police force, the Canadian government, and the Obama administration have previously failed, managing to finally hold Justin Bieber accountable and punish him accordingly. Kind of.
On this fateful morning, Bloom took a quick break from unsuccessfully playing a 16-year-old in his Broadway production of Romeo and Juliet to successfully act like a hormonal, jealous teen, engaging Justin Bieber in a round of fisticuffs at the Cipriani restaurant in Ibiza (obviously). Bloom hasn’t played a role this convincingly since…well, ever. Plus, it must be a relief to the aging actor that he can still make girls around the world scream and go crazy, without even putting on his Legolas weave. While this Bieber reckoning has been a long time coming, the fact the Bloom ended up being the man to administer the beating makes this story as strange and unexpected as it is straight up awesome.
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To be fair, The Beebs did fight back... as most young thugs do, by taking to Instagram
But perhaps the best part of this entire encounter...
Leo DiCaprio Reportedly Cheered as Orlando Bloom Tried to Punch Bieber
The details surrounding the Bieber-Legolas fight keep getting better. Today, an eyewitness reports that Leonardo DiCaprio, typically one to cheer his own success in life, whooped it up for Orlando Bloom when he tried to hit the Biebs.
And while we're here, let's play everybody's favorite fun game...
Who said it: Justin Bieber or Johnny Manziel?
7. Headline of the Week
Of course... he's a Yankees Fan.
8. Supercut of the Week
This is why God created the internet (with help from Al Gore)
9. Awwww of the Week
And now..somethin' for the Ladies.
10. Awwwwww shit of the Week
And now.. something for the G's
11. FSF
Of course, we would be remiss if we did not celebrate the birthday of one of the all time greats, a True American Hero.. Jerome John Garcia. Jerry would have turned 72 today. And presumably, like (most) of his band mates, would still be rockin'.
Here's some straight Jerry courtesy of our good friends at The Music Vault. Not a bad way to start your Weekend.
(Note, this vid starts off with some trippy cartoon before the actual concert footage starts.. because of course it does)
Enjoy
- Z
Well Played 
