By now, you've seen the pictures, perhaps even read the article (doubt it).. perhaps even downloaded the pictures and made them your wallpaper (ahem, I totally am not talking about myself).. but if KKK's intention was to really break the internet with her top and tails, it didn't work. In fact, those pictures only showed why the internet is oh. so right.
1st up...
Homer Kardashian
Yes, that's a sideways butt
Not to be outdone... Peter Griffin Kardashian
And of course, this was inevitable.. the Dirty Sanchez Kardashian
Naturally, the folks at buzz feed had some fun trying to recreate their own magic butt shots
But the very best comes to us from our Two Cheeks One Cup correspondent..
Well it certainly got people talking and tweeting.. among other things..
2. And Speaking of Internet Backfires
In his defense, there were no Memes, Twitters, and Photoshops in the 80's. You crazy kids!
The Bill Cosby #CosbyMeme Hashtag Backfired Immediately
3. You Thought That Was Bad
Yes, even my beloved Patriots learned a valuable lesson in Internets. I think we can safely assume it was Peyton Manning who made that phony twitter account, amirite?
New England Patriots Twitter Thank You Includes N-Word
4. When Athletes Talk Science
Bad things happen...
Jose Canseco Tweets Some Very Reasonable Thoughts About the Comet Landing
Of course, because once Humans get so gigantic from steroid use that cars cannot physically move then, we will have to use Comets to get around! But, not to be outdone... old friend Curt Schilling threw his hat into the crazy ring....
My brain hurts a lot.
5. Speaking of Elephants!
Now that is what you call a fucking transition!
Feisty Elephant fends off attack by 14 lions
It's not as great as the Battle at Kruger.. or the Battle of Mr. Kruger... But it's pretty cool
6. Awlright, Awlright, Awlright
As awesome as that is, the award for stupid pet trick of the week goes to this guy.
7. Caught on Camera
You just can't get away with anything these days..
8. Patriots Porn
This is actually from before the bye week, but it still gives me a semi....
9. Headline of the Week
It just doesn't get much better than this...
Bad Molly Takes Colorado State Student On Insane, Masturbatory Rampage
We've heard of poppin' some molly and sweatin', but not popping molly, snorting some coke, car-jacking an ambulance, careening every which way through traffic, and then jerking off in the police station. That'd probably make for a better song, though.
The above scenario was just a night out for Colorado State student Stefan Sortland. Sortland took the above-mentioned drugs before heading off to a Halloween party. At some point in the night, Sortland noticed an empty ambulance outside, and thought, Shit, time for some joy riding! According to police reports acquired by Denver's ABC 7, police tracked the vehicle and found it in bad shape:
Loveland police officers said they found the ambulance in the middle of Highway 34 with several doors open, heavy front-end damage and fluid leaking.One officer said it appeared the driver of the ambulance had hit the raised median, jumped the curb, hit a sign, went the wrong way and crossed back over the median before stopping.Officers said they found 18-year-old Stefan Sortland standing about 30 yards from the stopped ambulance wearing an EMT vest. Officers shot him with a stun gun when he refused their commands. Sortland had a blanket, a cell phone and a box of Wheat Thins with him.
After eventually subduing the 18-year-old, the cops took him back to the station, where more hijinks ensued:
Sortland was taken to the Loveland Police Department.There he "stood on a bench, kicked the wall, and masturbated," according to the police report.Police said during his interview with officers, Sortland made a reference that his "friends/roommates were dead, in heaven, and had committed suicide."
I cannot confirm this report, but I saw on twitter Wes Welker is his dealer... Zing!
10. PSA of the Week
The more you know..
11. FSF
Now, as many of you know, I have a problem. I admit this... and admittance is the first step, right? Anyway, you see, I listen to music all the time. Even when I take the dog for a walk, I have my phone blasting music in my pocket. No headphones needed. Even for a 2 min walk around the grounds. And when I listen to music, I'd say about 90% of the time, it's Phish. And those other 10% of the times, I'm just thinking: "man, this isn't as good as Phish, what was I thinking?" Even worse, after this past Halloween show, not only has that percentage risen to about 98%, but I now only listen to one particular set of Phish... set 2 from Halloween night.
For those of you that don't know, for their musical costume they "covered" the Chilling, Thrilling Sounds of the Haunted House... a Disney sound effects record from the 60's. And yes, it's even more read-Icculus than it sounds. Essentially, the record is narrated by some freaky ass woman with an amazingly spooky voice.. and it's all stories and sound effects. Upon a reissue, the 2nd side was just the sound effects by themselves, with the idea that the kids could make their own spooky stories using them. And oh, did Phish deliver. Even if you don't like Phish, even if you despise them, I am fairly certain you will dig this. Even Santos was getting down, and he's the biggest Phish hater in all the land... In fact, as the Professor would say, it is the Future of Sound.
At the very least, you never have to worry about the playlist for your Halloween Parties ever again. It's just that good. Here's that set in all it's glory. Technically, it's not a "Full Show", but it's still the nastiest thing I've ever posted on this blog, and I think it will reign supreme for quite some time. Enjoy!
In fact, I think I'll enjoy it with you.. for the 100th time in the past two weeks...#They Attack!
- Z
