Due to the Presidential Debate, I have the privilege of working the early shift today, which means, the first ever early bird edition of The Daily Saw. In celebration of this momentous occasion, I've decided to take the opportunity to break new ground here at TDS... and I present to you the blog's first ever "original" "reporting". These are a few items I came across -- not on the internet -- but in actual, daily life. Who knew! Things actually exist and happen outside of this little monitor on my desk!
For example, they often happen inside this slightly larger monitor.. in my living room. I was watching some day time tube the other day and came across this ridiculous commercial which only further proved to me, that advertising is an industry I need to be in.
First off.. who the hell makes a game for kids called The Busy Ball Popper? This had to be a joke that just became a runaway train and actually ended up being manufactured almost by accident, right? That being said, if you are faced with the task of promoting said product, you obviously have no choice than to call it "Ball Popping Fun, " right? Let's just say, no kids of mine will be allowed to have any Ball Popping Fun.. at least till they're older.
As great as that product is, I did come across an even better one at Target the other day. A new board game that really needs no introduction:
I have no idea what this game is all about, but if it is anything to do with "Doggie Doo Poppin Fun" I think I'll stay on that as well.
2. "7" "news"
This next one caught my eye as I was fast forwarding through DVR'd programming... and for obvious reasons.. I had to stop and watch. Let's just say.. it was well worth it...
Just keep in mind.. they don't just "report" the "news" they also make weird hand motions while they're doing it, and talk to you like you are an ESL student in kindergarten. They also like to flash flashy graphics across the screen, as a way to "constantly" "innovate".... so if you are prone to seizures, you may want to "look" "away."
3. Who are the ad wizards.. flashback edition
(Okay, back to the internet)
Speaking of products that need no introduction...
Yes.. not only did McDonald's make something called "McJordan" sauce.. but some crazy bastard stole a tub, held onto it for decades.. and is now seeling it on Ebay. God Bless America.
Your sauce, sir (Courtesy eBay)4. Smell ya later
Okay, we've seen some strange commercials, but other than that McD's blast from the past, we're talking low budget, locally made items. How about a big, international mega-player? They must put together some "truly" "innovative" ads, that really draw you in, and get you attention...
Well.... Maybe not
5. "real" "news"
Unfortunately for us, 7 news isn't always on.. (though they sure as hell try to be). So, in times of need where can we go to get our fix? May I suggest old friends, Huff Post? Check out their list of most popular links of the day...
Phew! I was wondering which Singer had a nip slip yesterday, which body part Kim Kardashian was flashing on the street, what was up with K-Stew/R-Pat, and which slutty reality star was flaunting a baby bump! Now I'm caught up on the world!
6. Piss Poor
Well, this one has nothing to do with advertising, but it could very well double as a recruiting video for Ohio State University.. er, excuse me THE Ohio State University. Sure, they're well known for the Athletics department, fielding competitive, championship-level teams in all the major sports. But they don't get enough credit for the Academia.
And as this proud-alum can attest, that's a crying shame.
((i love how he grabs the hand sanitizer .. like that's going to do anything))
7. Happy Birthday Chrissy
Last but not least ... let's all raise a glass to Suzanne Somers.. who turns 66 today. And while you're there, marvel at her bizarre transformations (and wardrobe choices) through the years.. Sure, now she's gross.. but let's remember the good times, shall we?
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