The Vibra-Finger Was Supposedly Only A Personal “Gum” Massager
Are you lacking a massage in certain needed areas? Then the Vibra-Finger is for you! It's the dentist-recommended "massager" for your mouth.
For the... "Mouth"... Mmm Hmm..
9. Bronn's Agent
For somehow letting this information find its way onto the internet.. I'll never look at him killing one of Joffrey's guards the same way again... boo
Game Of Thrones badass Bronn used to be a cuddly British pop singer
Eric Ducharme: The Real-Life Merman
By Elise Solé, Shine Staff | Healthy Living – Wed, Apr 3, 2013 4:02 PM EDT
TLCDucharme is a self-proclaimed merman, a mystical male counterpart to the mermaid. As the legend goes, these seductive sea creatures with the upper body of a human and the tail of a fish, make themselves visible to ships during thunder storms and would lure the opposite sex into the water with their siren-like singing...
"When I put on a tail I feel transformed," says Ducharme, who can hold his breath for four minutes at a time. "I feel like I'm starting to enter into a different world when I hit the water."
You could even say, it's a whole new world... couldn't you?
7. The Drunk Fisherman
In his defense, when you need your whiskey.. you need your whiskey. Clothes and gators be damned!
Drunk, Naked Fisherman Paddles Across Croc-Infested River on a Log to Win Bet for Whiskey: ‘It Seemed Like a Good Idea at the Time’ (NSFW)
"I'd enjoyed a few beers and it seemed a good idea at the time," said an unnamed angler who recounted to the Northern Territory News a recent misadventure involving a log, a paddle, a lack of clothing, and the infamously croc-infested Daly River in Australia.
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Oh-- all these stories seem to start with those precious few words, don't they?
6. The Other Drunk Fisherman
Follow the link for the video.. believe me when I tell you, it's worth it.
This Video Perfectly Illustrates the Dangers of Drinking and Boating
While towing a couple of buddies back to their home port, a drunken sailor asks to be tossed a beer while not fully in command of his basic motor skills.
Needless to say, he came within inches of getting killed by the motor, basically.
5. Busta Bust
Ok, I get it.. cheeseburgers are awesome. But you don't have to get all Archie Bunker about it.
Busta Rhymes Allegedly Has Total Meltdown in Miami Restaurant Because He Wants a Cheeseburger
The Miami New Times reports that the trouble started when the rapper arrived at Cheeseburger Baby in South Beach around 6 a.m., either to enjoy a cheeseburger nightcap before changing into jammies or to start his Wednesday right with his first cheeseburger of the day.
Restaurant owner Stephanie Vitori said that, upon arrival, Busta Rhymes expressed his desire to jump to the front of the long line to get his food; when employees refused to let him skip ahead, Busta returned to his car to wait. After his order was brought out to him, Busta Rhymes allegedly returned to the restaurant even more agitated, apparently upset because his ketchup was hanging out with but not on his patty:
"He was calling our delivery driver Santiago a 'fag' multiple times, and me a 'bitch' and [telling] me 'to shut the fuck up' because we put his salt, pepper, ketchup, and mayo — that he asked for — on the side."Vitori said Busta "caused such a scene," she eventually called the cops on him, though he left the restaurant before they arrived. (She added "on the side is just how we do it.")
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Haven't seen Busta in a few years, maybe it's time he cut back on the cheesburgers...
4. The Ad-Wizards Who Came Up With This
Let's just say, it's no Apotheker-produced spot...
(Sorry, but again you'll have to follow the link for the video.. can't promise this one is worth it.. unless you want a refresher on the awful side of the spectrum)
Comcast SportsNet's White Sox Intro Video Is One Of The Worst Things Ever Put On Television And Possibly Harmful To Your Health
Most
discerning baseball fans go out of their way to avoid local broadcasts
of the Chicago White Sox. After all, that's where you find Ken “Hawk”
Harrelson, and to voluntarily listen to Hawk is to willingly subject
yourself to the threat of severe brain damage. Seriously, you'd be
better off huffing Chinese diesel taxicab fumes out of a broken compact
florescent bulb.
If you hate your brain and want to punish it, then boy howdy do we have
something up your alley. Ear masochists might find pleasure in the
above, as well, which aired immediately prior to today's Royals-White
Sox game from U.S. Cellular. I'm told the music is from a band called
Saliva, which ought to give you fair warning that something terrible is
about to happen. Saliva belongs in your mouth, not your ears!
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Not sure I'd agree with that last statement though...
3.Trey
As much as it pains me to do it.. sadly, yes Trey makes the cut this week.. thanks to this.
You let us down, Trey. You let us all down.. this is even worse than Time Turns Elastic.
2. Creed
Is he a fool though.. or is a fool like a fox!
The Office's Creed Bratton has a new album, talks to a giant space-chicken
Though best known for his portrayal of mysterious weirdo Creed Bratton on The Office,
Creed Bratton the actual person has actually been heavy into the music
game for about 50 years now. A founding member of '60s rock group The
Grass Roots, Bratton has spent his non-TV time making records with his
backing band The Rubbermen, and this May he'll release his sixth solo
record, Tell Me About It, a concept album Bratton calls an "audio-biography."
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Seriously, if he wasn't already my favorite character on the office, he certainly is now. Needless to say, I will be buying this CD.. or at least, attaining it through some sort of means... I also say we get the kickstarter going now for a Bronn & Creed power duo album!
1. James Franco
Special kudos to gawker for finding the perfect smug photo to go with this story...
James Franco to Teach Class About Himself
James Franco grabs overexposure by the balls, then teabags it, in Columbia College Hollywood's Master Class: Editing James Franco… with James Franco, in which film students edit footage of James Franco under James Franco's tutelage while James Franco films them.MovieLine provides the press release:
Mr. Franco's frequent collaborator editor and Tyler Danna is teaching the course, which has been entitled Master Class: Editing James Franco…with James Franco. Mr. Franco is providing the footage—much of it from behind the scenes on short films he has directed - and the conception for the course and will speak to the students weekly via live feed (Skype) and attend class the weekly class sessions when his schedule allows. The student editors will seek to create a cinematic image of James Franco through the footage. […]
Master Class: Editing James Franco…with James Franco meets on Thursday afternoons weekly. As conceived by Mr. Franco and Mr. Danna, the class sessions themselves will be taped and be part of the final film created by the class or another project.
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And on that note.. here's a full show Friday to celebrate today's very special anniversary.... Best fun I've ever had in Providence.. though I'm not sure that says all that much.
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