So many good ones from Funnyordie this week..
a few gems:
Poor bastard
2. Headline of the Week
Came via tweet: (no pun intended)
3. Quote of the Week
In all seriousness, Biden could be my favorite politician of all time...
IMAGE VIA ASSOCIATED PRESS
Vice President Joe Biden came to Cambridge on Thursday to speak at the John F. Kennedy Jr. Forum at Harvard University’s Institute of Politics, and he didn’t disappoint.
Before Biden stepped on the stage, where he immediately began cracking jokes, begging people to refrain from jumping off the balcony above him, David Ellwood, Dean of the John F. Kennedy School of Government, softened the blow by facetiously informing attendees that the VP is known for his slip of the tongue.
He doesn’t really hate being Vice President:
When Sietse Goffard identified himself as Harvard’s student council Vice President, the first words out of Biden’s mouth were, “isn’t it a bitch, that Vice President thing?”
Amid resounding laughter, Biden repeatedly reassured attendees that he was being playful, and that he has no qualms with being second in command. “That was a joke. I’m joking, I’m joking. Best decision I ever made,” he said.
4. Coming Soon
Awl right, awl right, awl right..
Also, in preparation for the new season of Walking Dead (next sunday!) The folks at "bad lip reading" have put together another one of their masterpieces..
5. Holy Cow
Ok, I have to admit I haven't watched a new Simpsons episode in quite some time, and while I was planning to DVR the premiere since it was the highly anticipated Family Guy crossover.. I forgot. I'm sure I'll find it online somewhere, but in the meantime.. apparently the opening couch sequences have gotten even more ridiculous than I remember..
6. Interview of the Week
First of all..he's 56. Wow. I think that means we are all old too. 2nd, sadly he does not mention anything about blueberry pancakes..but he does quote a lil known scripture:
"The Bible says you're not supposed to sign your inheritance away."
Amen .
7. Luxury Box
Thank you, thank you..remember to tip your waitress (just the tip)
8. Smarter Than the Average Bear
Hey boo boo!
9. Dumber than the average Dumberer
In all fairness..does anyone really know how many electoral votes their state has?
Video: When Jimmy Kimmel tests stoners on current events … um, yikes
"The Bible says you're not supposed to sign your inheritance away."
Amen .
7. Luxury Box
Thank you, thank you..remember to tip your waitress (just the tip)
8. Smarter Than the Average Bear
Hey boo boo!
Genius Bear Is Too Smart And Strong For Bullshit-Ass Electric-Deer Gag (click link for video)
Some
scientist or whatever decided he wanted to hang an electrified deer
carcass in the woods in order to see what would happen when a bear tried
to eat the deer. Why did he do this? I don't know, man. Because he's a
dickhead. But the good news is that this experiment was quickly and
thoroughly torn to shit by a smart and cool bear.
Our
hero bear, perhaps sensing that something was amiss, approaches the
carcass cautiously at first. He touches it with its snout, and
immediately receives a shock of electricity that sends him running. A
normal and dumb bear would have probably been like, "Fuck this shit, I'm
out," but this, I'll remind you, is a smart and good bear.
He
returns to prod at the carcass again, receiving his second shock. But
then the bear comes back a third time, and disconnects the car battery
from Mr. Dickhead Scientist's torture rig. The bear is encouraged, but
continues to proceed with caution:
False alarm! The deer carcass is no longer electrified, and the bear knows it. Now is the time to strike:
Fuck you and your bear-zapping roadkill, motherfucker. This bear is eatin'.
h/t Michael
9. Dumber than the average Dumberer
In all fairness..does anyone really know how many electoral votes their state has?
Video: When Jimmy Kimmel tests stoners on current events … um, yikes
Yikes, this Jimmy Kimmel video is funny.
Kimmel sent one of his men to an L.A.-area medical marijuana shop to quiz customers on their way in. Each person was asked two questions — one on current events, another on cannabis culture.
So “Who’s the pope right now?” would be followed up with “What’s Pizza Hut’s new crust stuffed with?” “How many electoral votes does California get?” would be followed up with “How many grams in an ounce?” “Who’s the Speaker of the House?” would be followed up with “Who’s the star of ‘Big Momma’s House’?”
You get the picture.
Sure, the results were smartly edited — showing a youth that is more aware of ubiquitous television commercials than the world leaders shaping global policy. But it’s all good fun regardless.
10. No-Duh of the Week
Did I really need a critic to tell me this?
‘Left Behind’ Review: Nicolas Cage’s Bible Movie Is God-Awful
Overt Christian messages and Nicolas Cage’s omnipresence are not the only reasons why this film about the rapture is terrible. The true apocalypse is that it has no soul.
* * *
I love that promo pic though.. I may have a new cubicle decoration...
11. Radio Interview of the Week
No wonder this guy's a professional golfer.. talk about cool under pressure. And I've never heard it before but "oh Jingos" is my new exclamation of choice..
12. Happy Happy
In other old folks news, Trey Anastasio, aka Big Red, aka The Skinny Guinea.. turned 50 years old this week. And needless to say, it had the internets a buzz..
- Nice roll down memory lane to when Trey abandoned Phish for some stupid group called Oysterhead, and that whole Tab with 4 piece horns.. what a douche.
(best quote:
On the highway minutes later, en route to nearby Burlington—Phish’s birthplace—Trey can’t stop talking about Oysterhead. The trio features Anastasio, bassist Les Claypool (Primus) and drummer Stewart Copeland (the Police). He pops in the new CD, tentatively titled The Grand Pecking Order, and cranks the stereo up to eleven. It is the first time he has heard the album in sequence and by his own account he is bouncing off the walls with anticipation. Midway through the first track, “Little Faces,” I am startled by a thunderous power chord that sounds like the work of a heavy metal guitarist. "Is that you?" I ask, puzzled. "Did you get some new gear?"He loves that I am confused by the new tone. "It's great, isn't it?" he says with an infectious grin. "I've always wanted to play like this, but I've been in a band with a bunch of fucking hippies." He chuckles and cautiously adds, “myself included.”
-Nice lil list put together by Relix of 15 classic Trey moments..
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