Saw Friday

1. TGIF

Don't know what prompted FOD to put this post of Bill Murray GIFs together..but I'm sure glad they did.

 

2. FSF

Since we were off last week for American Gluttony Day, here's two full shows for you enjoyment.

First up.. the great Frank Zappa.. posted 20 years after his early departure. Warning: for advanced musical listeners only

Twenty Years Later | Still Missing Frank Zappa

It's hard to believe legendary composer and guitarist Frank Zappa has been gone for two decades as he passed 20 years ago today after a battle with prostate cancer. His influence can still be heard in many band's music and his son, Dweezil, continues to carry his father's flag with the long-running Zappa Plays Zappa project. Also, the Zappa Family Trust continues to mine FZ's vault for gems, though we're still waiting for the Roxy film to surface.

We want to celebrate Frank's life and music by sharing a full show from his last world tour in 1988. FZ embarked on a lengthy world tour in 1988 backed by the self-proclaimed “Best Band You’ve Never Heard In Your Life” which included Ike Willis, Mike Keneally, Scott Thunes, Chad Wackerman, Ed Mann, Bobby Martin, Bruce Fowler, Walt Fowler, Paul Carman, Albert Wing and Kurt McGettric. On May 17, 1988, about halfway through the European leg of the tour, Zappa and his band played at Palacio de los Deportes in Barcelona, Spain for a show that was broadcast on Spanish Public TV station RTVE and subsequently re-broadcast a number of times.

This performance has been bootlegged many times but has never been officially released. It features many classic Zappa tunes such as "Black Napkins," "Watermelon In Easter Hay" and "Illinois Enema Bandit" as well as a few choice covers, namely "Whipping Post" and "I Am The Walrus." Thanks to YouTuber brainphreaky we can watch over two glorious hours of FZ and Co. in action:

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Next up.. for the more sensitive listeners out there, who just want to chillax on a Friday... you're favorite old bastid duo.. Garcia & Grisman

Full Show Friday | Garcia And Grisman At The Warfield

Twenty-two years ago tomorrow night Jerry Garcia and David Grisman played their first of three consecutive shows at The Warfield in San Francisco, CA. The pair of old friends were joined by Jim Kerwin on bass and Joe Craven on violin and percussion for the performances.

Portions of the show were filmed by a fan and combined with soundboard audio for an outstanding 53-minute video. While the name of this column is Full Show Friday we're taking some liberties as this is must-see video and we wanted to celebrate the anniversary of the show. Jer and Gris work their way through an interesting set of originals and covers including a tender take on "Ripple." Enjoy: 

((You'll have to follow the link above bc for some reason, the embedder here can't find this video thru youtube... ))

 

3. Is It Better To Burn Out?

Or to die, and then be brought back in an eeire, CGI image.. leading to the eventual hologram tour with Biggie & Tupac.. You be the judge.

My personal favorite:

Yes. That's Old Man Hendrix.. and yes, he can still melt your face.. only now, he doesnt even need a guitar to do it..

4. Are You Not Entertained?

In case you have been living in a bubble, the Ron Burgundy media tour is simply just out of control. At first, I was like, oh those Dodge commericals are awesome.. so good in fact, I didnt skip past them on the DVR (at least the first few times). But now, there's just a complete saturation of the marketplace to the point where one has to wonder.. has it gone the other way now? Is there just too much Ron Burgundy out there? Dont get me wrong, I will still see the movie (and maybe even buy the book) but things are getting a touch out of control. That being said, I'd rather see Ron Burgundy commercials than probably any other product out there.. so what am I complaining about exactly..

-Burgundy does a real newscast.. In North Dakota.. (so I guess.. sorta a real newscast)

-Ron interview The Forehead (aka Peyton Manning) (his actual co-hosting gig on Sportscenter was cancelled yesterday due to some real-life news happening...)

-Ron turns my alma mater into a laughing stock (in both a good and bad way?)

-And For the Scotch lover on xmas list

6. And Speaking of North Dickota

Hey, 5th place ain't bad when it comes to this list.. now we know why so many women are in love with Massachusetts..

A Handy State-By-State Ranking of Dick Size

A condom company has lovingly compiled a state-by-state ranking of dick size based on sales of large-sized condoms. Congratulations, North Dakota (Dickota?). Condolences, Mississippi.

There are plenty of things wrong/unscientific about list architect Condomania.com's data gathering process, as TIME's Jessica Roy points out. For starters, of course the results of a survey like this would skew rural; it's utilizing data from a website where people order condoms by mail. If you can just pop down to the bodega for some Magnums, then why would you add several steps between you and safe sex? It also ignores the places where the guys with big penises opt to raw dog rather than wrap it up. On one hand, this study's results are nothing more than entertaining discussion fodder about where men with large penises are more likely to order condoms from one specific online prophylactic emporium.

But on the other hand: dicks.

So, without further ado, here are the top ten Big Dick States, according to a website with the word "mania" in the name.

1. North Dakota
2. Rhode Island
3. South Dakota
4. Washington DC
5. Massachusetts
6. Ohio
7. Arizona
8. Alabama
9. New York
10. South Carolina

And whip out the world's smallest violin for the 10 smallest.

40. Kentucky
41. Texas
42. Indiana
43. West Virginia
44. Missouri
45. Alaska
46. North Carolina
47. Wyoming
48. Arkansas
49. Hawaii
50. Mississippi

The full list is available here.

7. Courtroom Confrontation

If I may get serious for a moment.. working in news, I have seen lots of things I probably wish I hadn't. Some of the worst, are the so called "victim impact statements" in the courtoom during sentencing. Just the outpouring of grief and sadness really hits even the most cynical, hardened news people. But this case in Kenya, geez, just something I will never forget.

Man Who Had Sex with Goat Forced to Face Accusing Animal in Court (VIDEO)

A man who was convicted of sexual abuse and sentenced to ten years in prison last Friday was forced by the court to face his victim: A common household goat.

Katana Kitsao Gona, 28, of Kenya, pleaded guilty to the crime of bestiality after he was caught molesting his neighbor's goat behind a bush.

The goat's owner told the court he was alerted to the crime by a man who had gone to urinate on the bush and caught Gona in the act.

The goat was grazing at the time, and had been tied to the bush by its owner.

A local magistrate handed down the harsh sentence after a vet confirmed the goat had indeed been raped.

 8. Saved By The Balls?

Well, actually no.. it was quite the opposite.. according to Screech.

9. Douche of the Week

Let's just hope he didn't leave the house like this..

This Is Chest Hair. In The Shape Of A Cat.

10. D'oh of the Week

Movie theater in Florida accidentally plays “Nymphomaniac” trailer ahead of Disney movie

Shocked adults reportedly scrambled to cover the eyes and ears of children watching VIDEO

Unsuspecting audiences expecting to enjoy Disney’s animated movie “Frozen” in a Tampa, Florida movie theater were recently shown the sexually explicit trailer for “Nymphomaniac,” Lars von Trier’s art house film about sex addiction.
“They put in the filler, it looked like Steamboat Willie, the old Mickey Mouse cartoon, and then all of a sudden it goes into this other scene,” said Lynn Greene to Tampa’s Fox affiliate.
The trailer is so graphic that a preview clip was removed from YouTube in November for violating the terms of sexual content and nudity.

Yes, we all know how troubling it is to see Shita Lebouf when you aren't mentally prepared for it..but for those of you unfamliar with this "Nymphomaniac" move.. you need to stop what you are doing and watch this trailer right now. I just hope when The Hawk is ready to go see kids movies that I get so lucky with the trailer selection..

11. Remix of the Week

Now, stay with me on this one.. and I know I am the last person you would expect to pump some Miley..but give this remix a listen. It really is fucking awesome. So good it's made me rethink my vow to never listen to any FM stations...

12. Slideshow of the Week

Buzz feed came out with this handy 23 most important selfies of the year..

featuring gems like:

1. The selfie at your dad’s inauguration.

and of course..

20. The sleeping Justin Bieber selfie video:

BUT-- Not to be outdone.. some woman in NYC made a last ditch effort to get her selfie on the list.. didn't work.

My selfie with Brooklyn Bridge suicide dude

By Paul Martinka

December 4, 2013 | 5:41am

Modal Trigger

A woman snaps a selfie with a suicidal man on the Brooklyn Bridge. 

 

 Don’t jump — until I get this picture lined up!
America’s selfie obsession reached a new low on Tuesday when a woman snapped a cellphone self-portrait that also captured a suicidal man on the Brooklyn Bridge.
With scores of onlookers watching the dramatic 10 a.m. rescue by cops, the crass camerawoman turned her back to the scene, angled her phone toward the bridge and snapped a shot.
The scarf-clad blonde even cracked a thin smile.

When approached by The Post afterward, she suddenly became camera-shy.
“I’d rather not,” she said when asked for her name. She then hustled out of Brooklyn Bridge Park.

13. Lego Recreation of the Week

I'm not sure who started this fad, but I'm sure glad they did. 

14. Can You Stump the Akinator?

I did.. but of course, I cheated using a phish character..

 

15. Friendly Reminder

And today's #FF thanks to this gem..

 @JWielkotz pic.twitter.com/WbNLYGHLfO

 

Jimi Hendrix

Nov. 27, 1942 – Sept. 18, 1970 Widely hailed as rock’s greatest guitarist, who died in 1970 at age 27
- See more at: http://sachsmedia.com/rockheaven/#sthash.SsSYRXka.dpuf