1. Happy Anniversary
8/16/96... A Day That Will Live in InPhamy
http://www.phishtracks.com/shows/1996-08-16
Does your favorite band bring out Ben & Jerry to sing a song with them? I didn't think so
I'm guessing they also don't do this...
(EDIT: Noob alert! This is from 8/17... duh.. thats what happens after 20 years on tour)
2. (And I don't) Jizz In My Pants
... thanks to these ingenious inventions! What will they think of next!
These Liquid Lapdance Pants Store Your Jizz, Prevent Unsightly Stains
Liquid
Lapdance undergarments are "special pants" — "the best strip club
invention since the pole" — that make lap dances feel "exactly like
sex" for men. The founders are so confident that dudes will be satisfied
with/in their product that they offer refunds to those who don't orgasm in their Liquid Lapdance lap dance pants.
It's
unclear what the pants look like or how they work from the introductory
video, which is extremely NSFW/involves a baffling amount of
arm-licking/shows a whole lot of women's underwear but fails to reveal
the Liquid Lapdance pants themselves. Luckily, this product description explains it all (somewhat):
Liquid Lapdance is worn by men, underneath the clothing. Each pair has a soft, latex extension in front to caress and stimulate the male anatomy. Add a squirt of lube, and you're ready for the best lap dance of your life.
Benefits:
1. They moisturize and lubricate your penis. A moisturized penis is more sensitive than a dry penis. As the dancer glides her body over yours, you will feel her much more intensely. One reviewer described it as the difference between standard and high definition.
2. They provide you with the space to get fully-erect. Most underwear is not designed to be worn when you're rock hard. Ours is. Expand in comfort.
3. They take the pain out of lap dances. Dry lap dances can be quite painful. Many guys avoid lap dances for this reason. Liquid Lapdance takes the pain out of lap dances. We've tested them with big butts, bony butts and even granny butts! No pain, our testers still made it rain! LL is designed for the grind!
4. They contain your semen. When a guy has an orgasm during a lap dance, it can be quite awkward if he's not wearing Liquid Lapdance. A wet stain typically forms on the guy's crotch, and semen may get on the dancer, where it is often unwelcome. With Liquid Lapdance, you can relax and fully-enjoy the orgasm without worrying about minimizing or containing ejaculation as you might in regular underwear.
You want user reviews? Of course you do. You might have to take a shower after reading them, though:
"Feels like two lubed ass-cheeks sliding up and down."
"Imagine a pair of oiled titties bouncing up and down your cock."
"I wouldn't say it felt like sex. More like a blow job, a hand job, whacking off, anal sex, and titty-fucking all in one."
"Kinda like fucking a really loose pussy."
SOLD!
3. Yay Science! And Love
I've already sent this around to some of you, but warrants another mention.. best mash-up since Brokeback to the Future...
Say My Name! Heisenberg!
4. More Editing Fun
This time with photoshop.. as someone who used to tinker with the program, I am constantly amazed at what people can do these days. I was happy when I could cut and paste a spliff into someone's hand... now.. we have this. Thanks internet!
Celebrity Make Unders – What Would Celebrities Look Like If They Were Everyday People? (16 Pics)
Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie
Tom Cruise
5. Hey Ladies..
Pay attention. Everything you will ever need to be happy in life can be found right here.
All you have to do is shed that pesky identity!
1. Don't talk
Oh, did Mavis from next door insult your prize winning squash? Did little Timmy get sent home for starting fires again? That shooting pain in your left arm just keeps getting more intense? Keep it to yourself! Your man works all through his day and last thing he needs to hear about is yours. Refer to the first four commandments on "How to be a Good Wife" Edward Podolsky gives in his 1943 book, Sex Today in Wedded Life:
This Reverend may be onto something...
6. In Case You Were Wondering
These are the 10 biggest douchebags in the NFL..
Spoiler Alert:
This guy made the list
7. The Police Are Your Friends
Finally that old bumper sticker loses its irony! Although, I'm guessing those Cruncy Seattle hippies would prefer Sunchips. Y'know, Organic, Brah!
SEATTLE -- A few things will be different at this year's Hempfest, the 22-year-old summer "protestival" on Seattle's waterfront where tens of thousands of revelers gather to use dope openly, listen to music and gaze at the Olympic Mountains in the distance.
The haze of pot smoke might smell a little more like victory, after Washington and Colorado became the first states to legalize marijuana use by adults over 21. Having won at the state level, speakers will concentrate on the reform of federal marijuana laws.
Oh, and the Seattle police - who have long turned a lenient eye on Hempfest tokers - don't plan to be writing tickets or making arrests. They'll be busy handing out Doritos.
8. TGIF's
Not just one... an entire slideshow of mind blowin' GIFs.. literally!
9. My New Business Plan
Get ready, hon'. It's ON!
The next time you consider using the headache excuse to avoid getting busy, think about this: It pays to have more sex. Literally, new research finds.
People who have sex four times or more a week earn higher wages than their less-sexually active colleagues at a statistically significant level, according to a discussion paper from Nick Drydakis, a fellow at the Institute for the Study of Labor, a private, independent organization focused on labor market research.
How does one get on said research groups?
Oh, did Mavis from next door insult your prize winning squash? Did little Timmy get sent home for starting fires again? That shooting pain in your left arm just keeps getting more intense? Keep it to yourself! Your man works all through his day and last thing he needs to hear about is yours. Refer to the first four commandments on "How to be a Good Wife" Edward Podolsky gives in his 1943 book, Sex Today in Wedded Life:
Don't bother your husband with petty troubles and complaints when he comes home from work.In his 1951 book, Sex Satisfaction and Happy Marriage, Reverend Alfred Henry Tyrer has more to add to that. Do not ask for things. This is called "nagging":
Be a good listener. Let him tell you his troubles; yours will seem trivial in comparison.
Remember your most important job is to build up and maintain his ego (which gets bruised plenty in business). Morale is a woman's business.
Let him relax before dinner. Discuss family problems after the inner man has been satisfied.
I verily believe that the happiness of homes is destroyed more frequently by the habit of nagging than by any other one. A man may stand that sort of thing (nagging) for a long time, but the chances are against his standing it permanently. If he needs peace to make life bearable, he will have to look for it elsewhere than in his own house. And it is quite likely that he will look.Unless your husband wants you to talk. Then don't you dare disappoint him. Says Reverend Tyrer:
"If [the husband] is intellectually inclined, and from time to time seeks to explain little things to her so that she may have at least a bare knowledge of what it is that interests him, and, without the slightest comment, she takes up again the fashion magazine she laid down when he commenced to speak, we may be pretty sure that there is going to be a 'rift in the lute' sooner or later in that house."
This Reverend may be onto something...
6. In Case You Were Wondering
These are the 10 biggest douchebags in the NFL..
Spoiler Alert:
This guy made the list
5. Rob Gronkowski
Gronk may catch more STD's this season than touchdowns. Don't rule it out.
7. The Police Are Your Friends
Finally that old bumper sticker loses its irony! Although, I'm guessing those Cruncy Seattle hippies would prefer Sunchips. Y'know, Organic, Brah!
Police at Seattle pot-smoking festival to hand out Doritos instead of fines after Washington state legalizes marijuana
.
AP
A participant holds up a bag of marijuana during the first day of Hempfest in 2011.
SEATTLE -- A few things will be different at this year's Hempfest, the 22-year-old summer "protestival" on Seattle's waterfront where tens of thousands of revelers gather to use dope openly, listen to music and gaze at the Olympic Mountains in the distance.
The haze of pot smoke might smell a little more like victory, after Washington and Colorado became the first states to legalize marijuana use by adults over 21. Having won at the state level, speakers will concentrate on the reform of federal marijuana laws.
Oh, and the Seattle police - who have long turned a lenient eye on Hempfest tokers - don't plan to be writing tickets or making arrests. They'll be busy handing out Doritos.
8. TGIF's
Not just one... an entire slideshow of mind blowin' GIFs.. literally!
Do you remember your first time on LSD? Nah, me neither, but I like to imagine it was something like this.
9. My New Business Plan
Get ready, hon'. It's ON!
People Who Have Sex At Least 4 Times A Week Make More Money: Study
The Huffington Post
|
Posted: 08/14/2013 11:02 am EDT | Updated: 08/14/2013 11:40 pm EDT
The next time you consider using the headache excuse to avoid getting busy, think about this: It pays to have more sex. Literally, new research finds.
People who have sex four times or more a week earn higher wages than their less-sexually active colleagues at a statistically significant level, according to a discussion paper from Nick Drydakis, a fellow at the Institute for the Study of Labor, a private, independent organization focused on labor market research.
How does one get on said research groups?
10. Our Tax Dollars At Work
R.I.P.D, filmed in Boston,
Raynham, and Providence, accounted for more than 70 percent of film tax credits
issued by the state last year.
The ghost cop movie, “RIPD,”
starring Jeff Bridges and Ryan Reynolds, received nearly $27 million in state
film tax credits last year on its way to becoming one of this summer’s biggest
flops at the box office.
The movie, filmed in Boston,
Raynham, and Providence, accounted for more than 70 percent of film tax credits
issued by the state last year and 17 percent of the nearly $160 million worth
of transferable tax credits — which can be bought and sold — issued or awarded,
according to a report released Tuesday by
the state Department of Revenue.
“RIPD” tells the story of a recently
killed cop who teams up with a group of undead peers working for the “Rest In
Peace Department.” It cost an estimated $130 million to make, but grossed just
$12.7 million, or less than half the value of its tax credit, during its
opening weekend in mid-July, according to industry data.
Uhm.... “RIPD” tells the story of
a recently killed cop who teams up with a group of undead peers working for the
“Rest In Peace Department.
In their defense, I mean, when you
read that synopsis, how could you ever assume that would be a flop. It has
summer blockbuster written all over it to me! And it even has The Dude. Of
course, he's offset by The Douche.
