Wookin Pa Nub

Love is in the air.. and on the web... so let's take a look at how the internets is celebrating valentine's day. And what better way to get this party started than....

1. It's Not My Bag Baby!

Chubby Checker is doing his best Austin Powers impression.. quite frankly, dude should be happy his name is mentioned at all these days. I was shocked he was still alive!

Chubby Checker Sues Penis-Measurement  Is NOT My Forte' 

Chubby Checker (the singer) has his panties in a twist over Chubby Checker (the penis-measuring app) ... and now he's suing to jock-block the people responsible.

The 71-year-old music legend has filed a lawsuit against Hewlett-Packard and Palm (ha, palm) ... claiming they violated his trademark on the name "Chubby Checker" ... by releasing "The Chubby Checker" app, which "enables women to estimate the size of a man's penis based on his shoe size."

Checker says HP and Palm have offered the app in the Palm App Catalog for a long, long, loooooong, time. 

Chubby (the singer) says he fired off a cease and desist letter back in 2012 ... but the companies ignored his demand, so he was forced to take their asses to court.

According to the suit, Chubby not only wants the companies to shut down the app ... he also wants a ton of money for damaging his non-penis measuring reputation.

2.  False Advertising

This article did not deliver what I was hoping for...

3. Too Much Love?

Looks like someone has been busy...

 4. Toys R Us

OK, I dont like to consider myself a prude, but what is up with some of this shit? That can't be comfortable...





Is that like a magic lamp? If you rub it does a genie pop up? What's happening here? Where's Dr Ruth when you need her?


5. Deleted Scenes

Now these are some romantic comedies I might actually watch.. Side note: What the hell movie is that with a young Rick From Walking Dead? Mind. Blown!


6. Practice Makes Perfect

Looks like this news anchor has a big night planned...


7. Big Love


This guy's got it all figured out:


8. Doin Tha Butt

I think I've found my new instrument!


9. The Love Boat

No matter what you are doing today, you are having a better day than these poor souls.

Delays add to agony as ’nightmare’ stricken cruise liner limps toward Alabama port

With dry land agonizingly close, a crippled cruise ship described as a nightmare of filth limped Thursday toward an Alabama port — and finally relief for passengers who say they are exhausted after days without sufficient food, power or working bathrooms.

“It smells like the zoo ... it’s horrible,” passenger Shannon Caceres told NBC News in a telephone interview on Thursday afternoon as the ship approached land. After the power went out and toilets stopped working, the cruise staff instructed passengers to urinate into the showers and put fecal matter into plastic bags,which were regularly collected by room stewards and put into a giant trash bag, Caceres said.


One chick who was on the phone with CNN said sewage is literally raining down the walls...  sounds like our old bathroom on the 13th floor of Kennedy at UMASS.


10. My Sweet One

Phish just wants you to be happy on this valentine's day.. so they released a free track for download.. thankfully, it's not Jennifer Dances.



11. Sexpert Advice
From the man, the myth.. the legend. Ron Swanson.. aka Nick Offerman (and his wife aka that chick from that show I never watched)

Megan Mullally and Nick Offerman answer your questions on how to “engage in romantic love”

by Megan Mullally and Nick Offerman February 14, 2013

In an industry rife with short-lived marriages of convenience and seeming soulmates torn apart by the demands of celebrity, Nick Offerman and Megan Mullally remain a rock-solid example of love among the bullshit. The two have been married since 2003, withstanding their respective climbs on Will & Grace and Parks And Recreation, nurturing an enviable shared list of comedy credits, and maintaining a spark evident to anyone who’s watched them destroy a diner with their angry lovemaking on Parks. They’re also natural teachers who recently hit the road with a variety show/seminar to inspire audiences to ascend their own pyramids of greatness, via “10 Tips To Prosperity”—one of the most crucial of which is to “engage in romantic love.” So when it came time for our annual Valentine’s Day Q&A, we could think of no one better to help our readers do just that. And as with just about everything, Offerman and Mullally did it together. Here are their answers to questions our readers submitted at avclub.com:

On seduction:
Since I don’t know how to force Mother Nature into the shape of boats using my handsome, raw man hands (mansome hands), what is my best shot at seducing Megan Mullally? (Nick, you don’t have to answer this one if you don’t want.) —Martin

Nick here. I don’t mind handling this one, since at your mere arrangement of syllables, punctuation, and the winning combo-term “mansome,” Megan dropped to the kitchen floor and began masturbating furiously, asking me to repeat your phrases again and again. She says, “Martin, send me some digits, whip your dick out and show me who’s boss.” So…. Hats off, sir. Well played.

On workplace romance:
What are your thoughts on workplace relationships? If you clearly have a mutual attraction with someone you work with, but he refuses to make a move, what do you do? Is it worth it to just tell him how you feel? Or is it better to swallow your feelings and avoid an awkward workplace environment? —Brandi
I guess the attraction is not so clearly mutual if you feel the need to ask this question. Maybe you need to make your desires clear to him. Maybe you need to feel out his willingness to reciprocate. Maybe you need to whip your dick out and show him who’s boss

Now that's some sound advice.


((Side note: Tom Haverford, aka Aziz Ansari is makin love talk as well on AV club today. Though given his nerdy exterior, not sure I'd look to him for advice.)



12. Settin the Mood

Thanks, buzzfeed! I've alreayd got this cued up for later.. chk chk

The Ultimate ‘90s R&B Playlist To Get You Laid

Follow this 10-step playlist guide to let your date know “I Wanna Sex You Up”!

13. Secret Affair??

I have intercepted a pair of valnetine's emails.. and I was shocked to see who is carrying on like young kids in love... 

That explains why Trey wanted to play this song despite it being the worst cover in the history of music! On that note.. enjoy & Happy Valentine's Day y'all...

Go--hooooooolden Layyydyyy