Mr. Plow.. that's his name...

1. That Name Again is Mr. Plow



I sent this around last night to some of you, but just have to repost.. it's thats good. Unfortunately, the full length video has been taken down off youtube, but you can see some clips here..

My favorite part though is not on there.. where he says "pushin more snow than Tony Fuckin Montana" priceless.

Update: He has sine been fired

Snow Plow Driver Brags About Burying Cars In YouTube Video

LOWELL (CBS) – A local plow driver seems to enjoy completely boxing in other cars during snowstorms.
He’s so proud of it he’s posted a foul-mouthed video of himself in action on YouTube.

The driver, who’s identified himself as blackdoggxxx, shot the video through his windshield while he was driving his plow up in the Lowell area during the blizzard earlier this month.


2. Wicked Smaat?

Perhaps you've heard of the wonderlic?  No, it's not a sex toy. It's a test they give college football players before the NFL draft.. I always wondered what some of the questions were.. now we know. Spoiler Alert: They're not very hard

How Smart Are You? Take the Wonderlic Test and Find Out

By Zach Kruse

Along with tests of physical capabilities such as the 40-yard dash, vertical jump and bench press, the NFL Scouting Combine asks all draft-eligible players to perform a standardized, cognitive examination.
It is known as the Wonderlic test.
Players are presented 50 questions to be completed in 12 minutes. The questions are designed to test a person's capacity to learn and ability to problem-solve, although the correlation between a high Wonderlic score and NFL success is debatable.
You can find out more about the Wonderlic test by visiting the official website of the test.
Below, we present you a 15-question Wonderlic sample, taken from both Walter Football and ESPN.
How will you fare?
The answer key is provided at the bottom.

1. Assume the first two statements are true. Is the final one...

1. True
2. False
3. Not certain

The boy plays baseball. All baseball players wear hats. The boy wears a hat.

2. Paper sells for 21 cents per pad. What will four pads cost?



I guess, if you haven't used your brain for anything other than hitting people for 4 years, these things could get difficult..


3. Sexy Time

Although.. isn't "Brazen Brazilian Couple" kind of redundant?

Brazen Brazilian Couple Has Sex in the Ocean While Hundreds of Onlookers Cheer Them On

Neetzan Zimmerman

"Sex on the Beach" was an entirely different kind of cocktail for a pair of young Brazilian lovers and the large crowd of onlookers who witnessed their unabashed water sports on Carnival Saturday.
Local news outlet O Dia reports that hundreds of beachgoers in the Atlantic Ocean-adjacent city of Rio das Ostras got an eyeful of sea saltiness when an unidentified couple started getting wet and wild in full view of "elderly people and children."

And as you can see from the video, whoever said you cant have sex in water, was obviously wrong...


4. Burning Mississippi

This was under the heading "journalistic integrity" which kind of confused me after all my years at channel 7.. but apparently, this is an actual term that is used..

journalistic integrity

Mississippi Newspaper Owner Lets Homophobic Readers Have It After They Cancel Subscriptions Over Coverage of ‘Historic’ Same-Sex Wedding [UPDATE]

Neetzan Zimmerman

Jessica Powell and her partner Crystal Craven were married recently in what is believed to be Jones County, Mississippi's first same-sex wedding.
A local newspaper, The Laurel Leader-Call, which serves the county where the wedding took place, covered the ceremony and splashed its report on the front page under the headline "Historic Wedding."
Penned by reporter Cassidi Bush, a "self-proclaimed conservative," the article talks about Craven's Stage IV brain cancer diagnosis, and Powell's dress, and quotes the couple as saying "love is love, it knows no gender." Typical heartwarming wedding stuff.
Laurel Leader-Call readers were outraged.
Nasty calls and emails flooded the newspaper's offices, and subscription cancellations followed suit. The paper's Facebook page received more angry comments over this story than on any story in its history.
Last Saturday, Leader-Call owner Jim Cegielski published a powerful op-ed responding to the brouhaha.
He and the rest of the paper are "well aware" that most of the residents of Jones County "are not in favor of gay marriage," Cegielski says, but "any decent newspaper with a backbone" has an obligation to "inform readers what is going on" and can't base its editorial decisions "on whether the story will make people angry."
He continues:

I took the bulk of the irate phone calls from people who called the paper to complain. Most of the complaints seem to revolve around the headline, "Historic Wedding," and the fact that we chose to put the story on the front page. My answer to the "Historic Wedding" headline is pretty simple. You don't have like something for it to be historic.
The holocaust, bombing of Pearl Harbor and the Black Sox scandal are all historic. I'm in no way comparing the downtown wedding of two females to any of those events (even though some of you made it quite clear that you think gay marriage is much worse).

5. Hollywood Does Rock (and or Roll)

Nice slideshow from rollingstone here... my personal favorite has to be the Wayne's World.. though I'm a lil upset that the Hudson Hawk "swinging on a star" sequence didn't make the cut..

The 30 Greatest Rock & Roll Movie Moments

Unforgettable scenes from 'Pulp Fiction,' 'Wayne's World,' 'Almost Famous' and more

By Rob Sheffield 

Introduction

The movies have a long history of glorious rock & roll moments. Whether the story is about gangsters, lovers, warriors or vampires, the right song can jolt an ordinary flick into something loud and wild. So behold, the 30 all-time greatest rock & roll moments in film history – from Goodfellas to Hot Tub Time Machine, from Elvis to the RZA, from Lloyd Dobler to Spinal Tap to the Dude. (We're not talking show tunes here, so no "Let Me Entertain You" from Gypsy or "I'm Tired" from Blazing Saddles. And no TV, so apologies to Mad Men's "Tomorrow Never Knows" and Community's "Roxanne.") These are just a few of our favorite eruptions of cinematic rockingness. Play these movies loud.

Read more: http://www.rollingstone.com/movies/pictures/the-30-greatest-rock-roll-movie-moments-20130221#ixzz2LfKYdmv9

P.S. Who is this "Elvis" cat? He's got game.

6. Mashup of the Day

Hate to admit this.. but I've listened to this a few times already... I need to learn how to play the steel drum. Bomb

Listen to an uncanny mashup of "Under The Sea" and "Ms. New Booty"

by Marah Eakin February 21, 2013

Somehow, Soundcloud user TDRloid managed to figure out that two completely opposite songs—The Little Mermaid’s “Under The Sea” and Bubba Sparxxx’s “Ms. New Booty” (Ft. Ying Yang Twins)—go together like freshly drawn butter and delicious, delicious singing Caribbean crab. The result, “Under The Booty,” might seem like a weird combination in theory, but listen once and be convinced. After all, all parties involved know that it’s better down where it’s wetter. [via Buzzfeed]


7. Take A Chance.. Make It Happen

Could be the best and worst news I've heard in a long time..

 Nevada legalizes first interstate online poker

Casino chips are seen on a gaming table inside a casino on the opening day of Sheraton Macao hotel at Sands Cotai Central in Macau September 20, 2012.

Credit: Reuters/Tyrone Siu

By Ian Simpson

Fri Feb 22, 2013 2:41pm EST

(Reuters) - Nevada has become the first U.S. state to legalize interstate online poker and allow state-to-state gaming agreements, beating New Jersey to the punch and putting in place a potential nationwide framework for Internet wagering.
Republican Governor Brian Sandoval signed the landmark bipartisan bill into law on Thursday, authorizing his office to enter into agreements with other states that will in effect allow Nevada-based companies to host interactive gambling for residents of other states.


8. Pick-Up Line of the Day

I have to admit, I kinda like this JR Smith character... even though he plays on the Knicks

Ladies, J.R. Smith’s Twitter Come-On Will Have You Sopping Wet [UPDATE: J.R. Responds]

Barry Petchesky

Last month, as the Knicks were in Philadelphia to play the Sixers, J.R. Smith was up to his old tricks. J.R.'s got something of a history with Twitter, and women, (and asses), so it's not like the young lady who chatted him up via direct message couldn't have known what she was getting into. Still, this is spectacular:




It's like poetry in its way. Smith with the briefest of answers, always waiting a few hours before replying to her. Smith, out of nowhere like a fallback J at the buzzer, cutting to the chase. Smith, with the unironic use of "the pipe."
We don't know if anything happened after the game. We do know that Smith went 0-for-8 that night. We do know that the girl in the Twitter conversation is a senior in high school. We do know that the age of consent in Pennsylvania is 16.

UPDATE (6:55 p.m.): J.R. has responded, on his Instagram account:

9. Mazel Tov!

The Most Star-Studded Bar Mitzvahs (slideshow)

I had a lame ass caricature artist at my Bar Mitzvah. Though, at the time it was pretty cool.. Snoop Doogg would have been better..

Snoop Dogg

by The Daily Beast

“I performed at a bar mitzvah,” Snoop Dogg told Esquire in 2008. “And I'm telling you, man, these little motherfuckers, they were singing my shit, they was cussin', they were singing the dirty version. I'm talking about 12- and 13-year-old little white kids singin' this real gangsta shit. Man. I was shocked. I just gave them the mic and let them motherfuckers go.”


10. Full Show Friday

Full Show Friday: Ween Visits Mississippi – 2007

 One of the many reasons Ween ruled was that they let audience members freely videotape their shows. While many acts allow audiotaping, only a handful allow videotaping and Ween was one of them. This led fans to organize themselves in filming many gigs with multiple cameras and then editing the resulting footage into what would often be killer DVDs/Blu-Rays. Many of these vids are available for download through the Brown Tracker.

For today’s Full Show Friday selection we’re going with a classic Ween show from May 3rd, 2007 at The Library in Oxford, Mississippi. The gig was shot by three members of the JimboFilmsInc. crew and lovingly edited together. Ween reels off some of their best-known songs such as Voodoo Lady, Push Th’ Little Daisies and Piss Up A Rope as well as a few rarities such as Gabrielle and Poopship Destroyers. The footage looks amazing and it features audio dubbed in by a taper.

Bang on the Drum All Day

1. Website of the Day

Could be the best thing to happen to the internet since AOL.

The Bonhamizer: Add John Bonham’s Drums To Any Track

Written by Scott Bernstein on 02.19.2013 | Led Zeppelin, News, The Bonhamizer

Al Gore might have invented the internet decades ago, or so he says, yet we still find our minds being blown on a daily basis by some of the inventive ways users continue to harness the power of the web. Today’s example? The Bonhamizer – a way to add the powerful drumming of Led Zeppelin’s John Bonham to any track you throw at it.

[Photo by Dina Regine]

The web app was created this past weekend at Music Hack Day San Francisco 2013 by Paul Lamere. According to the site, it works by “cutting songs up into beats and tatums, and aligning the beats to John Bonham Drum patterns.” If you go to “Pick A Song,” you’ll see a list of Lamere’s favorite Bonhamizer tracks thus far such as The Beatles’ Norwegian Wood, Seven Nation Army by The White Stripes, Intro by The xx and The Postal Service’s Such Great Heights.


Can we take this app out on the road with Dog & Saw is the real question....


2.  Slideshow of the Day

The only problem is.. I dont know that I'd call a lot of these people "celebrities".. frankly, I've never heard of more than half of them

10 of the Ugliest Celebrities

10. Melanie Griffith

---

Poor MG.. it didn't use to be this way..

 (how about Joan Cusack in that trailer! Hooray 80's for creating that hair)

(p.s. fun game : guess who's #1)

 

3. Professor of the Day

Why didn't I ever try this? Maybe I could have gotten a full-time gig at Emerson!

 

NYC professor strips to underwear, shows 9/11 footage during class

By Deepti Hajela, The Associated Press

Columbia University says it's reviewing a science class in which a professor stripped to his underwear and showed 9/11 video footage during a lecture on quantum mechanics.

The Frontiers of Science class on Monday morning with Professor Emlyn Hughes also included two other participants dressed in black, one of whom used a sword to destroy a stuffed animal.
Video of the event was posted to Bwog, the online home of Columbia's monthly undergraduate magazine.
It starts with the professor stripping with his back to the students as music plays and an image of a skull is projected on a screen. Later, two stuffed animals are placed on stools, one of which is stabbed by a person with a sword. In the background, a video shows the fall of the World Trade Center and an image of Osama bin Laden.
A female student watching Hughes could be heard repeating, "What is happening?" as the performance went on.


I'll say this.. it's one lecture they'll never forget! Mission accomplished!



4. Boardgame of the Day

Methopoly lets you play Breaking Bad at home without ruining your entire life

Your family will still probably hate you, though

by Sean O'Neal February 19, 2013

Given that most attempts to "play Breaking Bad at home" generally turn out like this, Joanne Silverman has performed a genuine community service by turning the AMC drama into a board game—specifically Monopoly, whose aspects of empire-building and resenting your family translate quite naturally to the world of Breaking Bad. Inspired by the similar Lostopoly, Silverman’s Methopoly board (available for free download here) features all your favorite properties and amenities to buy on the way to becoming a ruthless kingpin—Los Pollos Hermanos, bottles of hydrofluoric acid—while replacing the Community Chest and Chance cards with “Heisenberg” and “Bell” (as in Hector Salamanca-ringing) cards featuring in-game events like “Hank Sells His Mineral Collection; You Get $50” and the inevitable “Yo, Collect $100 Bitch.”
You’ll still have to fashion your own player pieces, though Silverman also offers a few recommendations there, such as using a chunk of blue meth. Fake meth, of course. Again, we’re just playing a board game here. [via UPROXX]
 



5. Game Show of the Day

From the geniuses who bring you GGN.... I present to you.. 

THE DIME OF THE MONTH!

 
6. Cover Tune of the Day

Posted this on FB last night.. but I personally find this awesome. (Though I will say, I'm a lil less impressed now that I found it it's essentially part of a LIncoln Commercial.

Beck's Bowie Remake Comes to Life

'Sound and Vision' goes 360 degrees with a 157-piece orchestra

February 11, 2013 3:55 PM 

 

Beck's opulent nine-minute remake of David Bowie's "Sound and Vision" came to life last week when he reimagined the 1977 single with a 157-piece orchestra conducted by his father, David Campbell. Beck teamed with director Chris Milk and Lincoln for a special concert video of the performance featuring three 360-degree cameras, and also 360-degree microphones, for an especially immersive experience.

"It was an experiment and an opportunity to try something completely irrational," Beck told Rolling Stone last week. "I attempted to conjure some scenario that could only exist in this kind of space for a one-time performance. It's doing something you could never do on a tour. I was thinking a lot about Busby Berkeley films and multiples of musicians and dancers." A fully interactive 360-degree video is on its way; visit Lincoln's Hello Again for more details and further installments.

(P.S. Full Rollingstone write up here)

7. Nerd of the Day

Whoever had the time to create this:

Ghostbusters Firehouse Recreated In Amazing Detail With Legos

 

Webster’s Dictionary’s website defines research as an “investigation or experimentation aimed at the discovery and interpretation of facts, revision of accepted theories or laws in the light of new facts, or practical application of such new or revised theories or laws.” But nowhere does it say anything about Ghostbusters, so fuck that definition.
German Lego builder/artist Alexander Jones — who goes by the Internet name Orion Pax — kicked life in the face and spent months relentlessly watching the two Ghostbusters films, as well as The Real Ghostbusters cartoon, researching and planning a near-perfect Lego representation of the famed firehouse headquarters at 14 North Moore Street in New York. To say his efforts were a success is like saying Ghostbusters is slightly better than it would have been with original cast members Eddie Murphy and John Candy. This model, which is almost too good to call a model, is amazingly intricate and filled with details everybody but set designers take for granted.

 

 Pretty good.. but where's the twinkie?

8. Public Service Announcement of the Day

College women told to urinate or vomit to deter a rapist

By Lateef Mungin, CNN

updated 5:26 PM EST, Wed February 20, 2013

College: Say you 'have a disease' to deter rape

STORY HIGHLIGHTS

• The list was billed as last resort to deter a rape
• Conservative blogger Michelle Malkin criticized the list
• The university took the list down and apologized

(CNN) -- A Colorado school has caused a stir with an advisory that suggested women could urinate or vomit to deter a rape.

The list of 10 tips by the University of Colorado at Colorado Springs was billed as "last resort" options to deter a sexual assault.

"Tell your attacker that you have a disease or are menstruating," read one tip.

"Vomiting or urinating may also convince the attacker to leave you alone," read another.

Uhm. Hate to tell them, but some guys may not be detered by a lil urine. In fact, it may bring some guys back..

9. Headline of the Day

Sometimes the jokes just write themselves..

Local Wegmans Recalls Flour for Blue Balls, Breads for Wire Mesh

Wegmans Food Markets is recalling their store branded all-purpose flour and more than a dozen bread products.

   

 

Wegmans Food Markets has recalled the Wegmans branded all-purpose bleached flour, according to a report in the Democrat and Chronicle. The flour, which was sold in 5-pound packages with a best by date of 12/20/2013, may contain small blue polyurethane balls from the product's sifting equipment.
The flour was sold in store between Dec. 24 and Feb. 15.




10.  Surprise of the Day

Kareem Abdul Jabbar is actually a good writer.. who'dathunkit?



11. Drinking Game of the Day

Though, there's really no such thing as a BAD drinking game, is there..

Oscars Drinking Game 2013: Get Tipsy With A Little Help From Your Favorite Stars

The Huffington Post | By Leigh Blickley Posted: 02/20/2013 4:37 pm EST | Updated: 02/21/2013 7:53 am EST

Oscars drinking grame for 2013! Here, George Clooney and Amy Poehler are pictured enjoying some champagne at the 2013 Golden Globes.

We hope you have a fully stocked bar because it's going to be a long show. And what better way to make the 2013 Academy Awards fly by than getting nice and tipsy along the way?
Whether you're rooting for Jessica Chastain over Jennifer Lawrence or hoping "Argo" wins for Best Picture, HuffPost Celebrity has compiled an Oscars Night drinking game that will ensure, in the end, you won't care who wins or loses.
So get out your cocktail glasses, mixers and shakers and start preparing your go-to drink, because let's face it, who doesn't want to pretend they're as famous as the people they'll be staring at for four hours?
On the Red Carpet take a drink every time:
• A celebrity evades a question.
• Someone says they are "so excited to be here."
• A celebrity is asked what they ate before the awards show.
• Someone asks George Clooney how Brad Pitt is doing.
• You see a celebrity who brought a parent/family member as their date.
• Someone wears a truly hideous dress (yes, we'll leave that up to your own discretion).
During the Oscars take a drink each time:
• Someone thanks their parents.
• Someone mispronounces Quvenzhané Wallis’ name (red carpet included).
• Someone acknowledges Meryl Streep.
• A loser begrudgingly smiles to the camera.
• Someone says they didn't have a speech prepared.
• Seth MacFarlane cracks a failed joke.
• Anne Hathaway thanks her husband.
• The camera cuts to Ben Affleck and Jennifer Garner.
• The band tries to cut off someone's speech.
• Someone cries.
• If Jennifer Lawrence wins Best Actress and the camera pans to Meryl Streep.
• Someone says, "I couldn't have done this without … "
• If Adele gets a standing ovation after singing “Skyfall.”
• If Adele says something about motherhood during her speech (if she wins).
• Jodie Foster’s Golden Globes “coming out” speech is referenced.
• A winner uses their speech time as a political platform.
• Someone mentions “Argo.”
• Someone says they didn't have a speech prepared.
• Camera shows the ex (wife, husband, boyfriend, girlfriend) of the person onstage.
• Someone at your Oscar party comments on how hot Jennifer Lawrence is.
• Someone at your Oscar party laments the fact that Ben Affleck was snubbed.
P.S. Those looking to get really, really drunk should take a drink every time anyone says, "Thank you," "winner," "academy" or "film."

My own addition? Should Argo win best film, and Affleck walks up holding a "FAH-Q" Paddle.. finish whatever bottle you've been working on... 

12. Montage of the Day

Perhaps.. the best montage of all time.. I'd seen a lot of these before, but so many more good ones I had not seen. I think tosh should dedicate an entire show to this...

13. One Day Late..

but Happy Birthday to Kurt Cobain... nice, creepy stroll down memory lane with Courtney Love here...

Kurt Cobain's Final Tour

Crisscrossing the country with Courtney Love and the ashes of the deceased (which, in search of nirvana, are divided, molded, stuffed in a teddy bear, held up in customs, and inhaled by many)

By Amy Dickinson

Originally published in the February 1996 issue. Kurt Cobain was born on February 20, 1967. He would've turned 46 today.
Late afternoon, Halloween, and a member of the Namgyal Monastery has gone out to get candy. The monks will leave the porch light on and will answer the door all evening to the parade of trick-or-treaters who venture down North Aurora Street and climb the steps to ring the bell. Winter has already come to Ithaca, New York. It is cold and windy, and the sky is the color of lead. Upstairs, the monks are preparing for the public meditation. A throat clears, a toilet flushes. About a dozen of the faithful will make their way past the knots of little monsters and mermaids tonight and enter the monastery, unaware that they are praying in the presence of Kurt Cobain's earthly remains.

Read more: Kurt Cobain Ashes - Kurt Cobain's Final Tour - Esquire http://www.esquire.com/features/kurt-cobains-final-tour-0296#ixzz2LZW5guq5

Depardew? Or Depardon't?

This summary is not available. Please click here to view the post.

Wookin Pa Nub

Love is in the air.. and on the web... so let's take a look at how the internets is celebrating valentine's day. And what better way to get this party started than....

1. It's Not My Bag Baby!

Chubby Checker is doing his best Austin Powers impression.. quite frankly, dude should be happy his name is mentioned at all these days. I was shocked he was still alive!

Chubby Checker Sues Penis-Measurement  Is NOT My Forte' 

Chubby Checker (the singer) has his panties in a twist over Chubby Checker (the penis-measuring app) ... and now he's suing to jock-block the people responsible.

The 71-year-old music legend has filed a lawsuit against Hewlett-Packard and Palm (ha, palm) ... claiming they violated his trademark on the name "Chubby Checker" ... by releasing "The Chubby Checker" app, which "enables women to estimate the size of a man's penis based on his shoe size."

Checker says HP and Palm have offered the app in the Palm App Catalog for a long, long, loooooong, time. 

Chubby (the singer) says he fired off a cease and desist letter back in 2012 ... but the companies ignored his demand, so he was forced to take their asses to court.

According to the suit, Chubby not only wants the companies to shut down the app ... he also wants a ton of money for damaging his non-penis measuring reputation.

2.  False Advertising

This article did not deliver what I was hoping for...

3. Too Much Love?

Looks like someone has been busy...

 4. Toys R Us

OK, I dont like to consider myself a prude, but what is up with some of this shit? That can't be comfortable...





Is that like a magic lamp? If you rub it does a genie pop up? What's happening here? Where's Dr Ruth when you need her?


5. Deleted Scenes

Now these are some romantic comedies I might actually watch.. Side note: What the hell movie is that with a young Rick From Walking Dead? Mind. Blown!


6. Practice Makes Perfect

Looks like this news anchor has a big night planned...


7. Big Love


This guy's got it all figured out:


8. Doin Tha Butt

I think I've found my new instrument!


9. The Love Boat

No matter what you are doing today, you are having a better day than these poor souls.

Delays add to agony as ’nightmare’ stricken cruise liner limps toward Alabama port

With dry land agonizingly close, a crippled cruise ship described as a nightmare of filth limped Thursday toward an Alabama port — and finally relief for passengers who say they are exhausted after days without sufficient food, power or working bathrooms.

“It smells like the zoo ... it’s horrible,” passenger Shannon Caceres told NBC News in a telephone interview on Thursday afternoon as the ship approached land. After the power went out and toilets stopped working, the cruise staff instructed passengers to urinate into the showers and put fecal matter into plastic bags,which were regularly collected by room stewards and put into a giant trash bag, Caceres said.


One chick who was on the phone with CNN said sewage is literally raining down the walls...  sounds like our old bathroom on the 13th floor of Kennedy at UMASS.


10. My Sweet One

Phish just wants you to be happy on this valentine's day.. so they released a free track for download.. thankfully, it's not Jennifer Dances.



11. Sexpert Advice
From the man, the myth.. the legend. Ron Swanson.. aka Nick Offerman (and his wife aka that chick from that show I never watched)

Megan Mullally and Nick Offerman answer your questions on how to “engage in romantic love”

by Megan Mullally and Nick Offerman February 14, 2013

In an industry rife with short-lived marriages of convenience and seeming soulmates torn apart by the demands of celebrity, Nick Offerman and Megan Mullally remain a rock-solid example of love among the bullshit. The two have been married since 2003, withstanding their respective climbs on Will & Grace and Parks And Recreation, nurturing an enviable shared list of comedy credits, and maintaining a spark evident to anyone who’s watched them destroy a diner with their angry lovemaking on Parks. They’re also natural teachers who recently hit the road with a variety show/seminar to inspire audiences to ascend their own pyramids of greatness, via “10 Tips To Prosperity”—one of the most crucial of which is to “engage in romantic love.” So when it came time for our annual Valentine’s Day Q&A, we could think of no one better to help our readers do just that. And as with just about everything, Offerman and Mullally did it together. Here are their answers to questions our readers submitted at avclub.com:

On seduction:
Since I don’t know how to force Mother Nature into the shape of boats using my handsome, raw man hands (mansome hands), what is my best shot at seducing Megan Mullally? (Nick, you don’t have to answer this one if you don’t want.) —Martin

Nick here. I don’t mind handling this one, since at your mere arrangement of syllables, punctuation, and the winning combo-term “mansome,” Megan dropped to the kitchen floor and began masturbating furiously, asking me to repeat your phrases again and again. She says, “Martin, send me some digits, whip your dick out and show me who’s boss.” So…. Hats off, sir. Well played.

On workplace romance:
What are your thoughts on workplace relationships? If you clearly have a mutual attraction with someone you work with, but he refuses to make a move, what do you do? Is it worth it to just tell him how you feel? Or is it better to swallow your feelings and avoid an awkward workplace environment? —Brandi
I guess the attraction is not so clearly mutual if you feel the need to ask this question. Maybe you need to make your desires clear to him. Maybe you need to feel out his willingness to reciprocate. Maybe you need to whip your dick out and show him who’s boss

Now that's some sound advice.


((Side note: Tom Haverford, aka Aziz Ansari is makin love talk as well on AV club today. Though given his nerdy exterior, not sure I'd look to him for advice.)



12. Settin the Mood

Thanks, buzzfeed! I've alreayd got this cued up for later.. chk chk

The Ultimate ‘90s R&B Playlist To Get You Laid

Follow this 10-step playlist guide to let your date know “I Wanna Sex You Up”!

13. Secret Affair??

I have intercepted a pair of valnetine's emails.. and I was shocked to see who is carrying on like young kids in love... 

That explains why Trey wanted to play this song despite it being the worst cover in the history of music! On that note.. enjoy & Happy Valentine's Day y'all...

Go--hooooooolden Layyydyyy