Friday, April 4, 2014

Get Your Popcorn Ready

1. Dunn Dunn Dun Dun Dun Dun .. Dun Dun Duuuuuuuuuun


For those of you scratching your heads.. thats my written version of the Greatest Theme Song of All Time...



And yes.. it can mean only one thing.. Game of Thrones is back this weekend!! And if you weren't already sporting a tent over the season 4 premiere, then the all-out media blitz that's been going on this week will certainly put you over the top.


1st and foremost, if like me, you had a hard time remembering the several plates spinning in season 3.. check out this nifty recap HBO put together. I definitely forgot about some things.. but of course, who could forget this..




You could also print out this handy, cheat sheet to have with you if you want to keep everything straight, but I prefer this Grantland Season 4 "pre-cap".. as only Grantland could do.

Yes, there's been a Vanity Fair Cover Story... a fancy Red Carpet Premiere Party (Sally Field?!?!?) .. and even a GoT Fantasy Package (sorry, not what you think ladies).

And just to completely over-saturate the media...  GoT Actors Without Their Costumes is also worth a look... (although it's not as good as Pornstars Without Make-Up) .

And for the record, sometimes it pays to be a dwarf's height..



For those of you who dismiss GoT has nerdy, fantasy nonsense.. the good folks at HuffPost have taken the time to remind us that its really 'bout dis life.

But nothing tops this gem from Lena Headey's Instagram feed...



I wanna party with you, man!



2. Where Are They Now...

Junior, er Flynn edition!





Yes, I took this pic myself at my local Gap. Wow. Get after it, RJ!




3. Hamm'd

And speaking of AMC... he may play The Ladies Man on "Mad Men"..but as this video proves, the real John Hamm is anything but.. ouch.

Of course, that's not the worst dating show performance I've ever seen..


"this is one fucked up game show"


4.  Fool's Gold

Yes, for those of you who forgot (like me) Tuesday actually April Fool's Day. I guess these are just the type of things that fall off the radar when you're elbow deep in diapers all day.. but luckily, lots of people DID NOT forget America's Favorite Holiday... and the internet is there to report for us.

For example..


(my personal favorite... because clearly, this needs to be a real thing, because.. 'Merica)




And of the nerdy variety.. (only NPR could pull of a prank so lame)

And of the.. damn, I wish this was true variety..





Holographic Jerry Garcia to perform with The Garcia Project!

We are thrilled to announce that The Garcia Project will have a full time Jerry Garcia hologram performing with us this summer! This hologram will be programmed to "jam" and not just do static riffs and licks. Guitarist and Vocalist, Mik Bondy, of The Garcia Project will man the controls from the sound board instead of playing guitar and singing on stage.
"It's kind of like operating a puppet" , said Mik Bondy. "We love the music of Jerry Garcia, so why not just have him play it!". "We have the 90's jerry programmed now and in the future, we hope to have 70's and 80's Jerrys programmed as well".
The holographic Jerry or "holojer" has been in development for over two years at a cost of around $50,000. Come out this summer and see HOLOJER perform with The Garcia Project!
April 1, 2014 <fools?> Never trust a prankster ;)



((Would still be better than Dark Star Orchestra))



Workers Mistake Woman's Corpse For April Fools' Prank


A desk clerk at an apartment complex in St. Petersburg, Fla., was fired after tossing a dead body into a dumpster because he thought it was just an April Fools' day prank. 
 Ronald Benjamin, 61, first saw the body when he took a smoking break around 4:30 a.m. Tuesday morning, but thought it was fake."I'm telling you, I swear to God, the face looked like a rubber mask," he told TampaBay.com. "If I thought for one instant it was a real person I would have called the police, my manager, everyone I could think of." 


6. Probably Wishing He Could Call It A Prank

Oh, Franco...this is what happens when you get too high and play on social media...

James Franco connected with a teenage fan on Instagram—and then some interesting DMs surfaced

 

The DMs show Franco asking for her number. The messages switch to texts, and Franco then allegedly asks if he should rent a room. “April fools was an hour ago though…” Clode responds. 

She eventually turns him down. “I’ll come back when I’m 18,” she says.

To prove it’s him, Franco apparently writes Lucy’s name on a piece of paper and takes a selfie with it. The communication ends here.




Update: It may not be a prank..but was it a publicity stunt? 



7. Perhaps we should ask Big Papi


 My first thought was.. of course, classic Big Papi.. putting himself in front of the team.. literally. (Although I love that Farrell is essentially photo-bombing them). By now, you've all heard .. the REST of the story.. 

Of course, Ortiz denies it.. though Johnny Gomes may have given him away.. 




And even though Papi has since tried to make good... he still suffered a jab today at the hands of non other than Officer Dic Donohue! Well played, Dic.




Still..somehow, I think Big Papi is doin' just fine..





Cereal box characters are staring at your children, study says

 

Sonny the Cuckoo Bird's stare may be making your kids "cuckoo for Cocoa Puffs." 

A new study of cereal aisles at grocery stores found cereal products marketed to kids are placed half as high on shelves as cereals marketed for adults, so they can appear closer to eye level. The characters on the kids cereal boxes, such as the Trix Rabbit and Cap'n Crunch, also appeared to be looking downwards at a 9.7-degree angle, whereas characters on adult boxes looked straight ahead.

The researchers said this marketing strategy of having cartoon characters lock eyes with children may influence their connection with a brand, fostering loyalty and inspiring their interest in the products.



Perhaps that is why I still have wet dreams involving this guy...



Man, I love me some Peanut Butter Crunch.. shit is like crack!




10. You Get What You Pay For

Kings of Leon concertgoers may have been exposed to measles

Woman who was infected attended the band's March 28th show in Seattle

Back in 2010, Kings of Leon were forced to cancel a concert in St. Louis because of dastardly powers beyond their control, specifically a bunch of shit-happy pigeons. (There’s nothing like a refreshing, crisp drizzle of rain during a steamy outdoors set, but brown sludgy droppings are another story, ya know?) Four years later, another stroke of bad luck has struck the Nashville rockers while on the road, but this time around it’s a little more serious than poop. Way more serious, in fact.
It seems everyone at Kings of Leon’s March 28th show at the Seattle’s Key Arena — including the band themselves — may been exposed to measles. As an editor of the city’s Sunbreak points out (via SPIN), the Washington State Health Department has flagged the show as a source of measles exposure due to an infected woman who was in attendance. According to the Department’s official statement, the woman had contracted the highly contagious disease two days before going to the concert.
Health officials encourage those concertgoers to check and make sure they were vaccinated. Those who have not been vaccinated should seek medical attention right away, as measles, in some instances, can be fatal.
The rest of Kings of Leon’s upcoming tour schedule, which is in continued support of last year’s Mechanical Bull, does not appear to be affected. Their next concert is tomorrow night at Saskatoon’s Credit Union Centre.




So to recap.. go to King of Leon if you want to get shat on, and perhaps come down with a highly infectious disease.. If you want to see swirlees for the next 20 years, go see these guys..









11. We've Got Bush
 
As if his Jay Leno portrait wasn't creepy enough... Dubya is now launching an all out offensive on foreign leaders... World War III is not far behind..
 
 
 
An Ex-President, Brush in Hand, Captures His Fellow Leaders
 
George Bush’s Portrait Exhibition Opens in Dallas 
 
A dour Vladimir Putin glares ever so frostily, full of menace, free of mirth, ready to annex any passer-by unwise enough to get too close.
Tony Blair stares ahead, sober and resolute. Hamid Karzai, in traditional green cap and cape, glances off to the side, almost as if checking over his shoulder for the Taliban — or perhaps for the United States. The Dalai Lama looks serene, Stephen Harper jovial, Jiang Zemin grim.
The world’s most distinctive gallery of international leaders opens in Dallas on Saturday, famous faces as seen through the eyes of the former president of the United States and noted amateur painter, George W. Bush. Graduating from dogs and cats and landscapes, Mr. Bush has produced a collection of more than two dozen portraits of foreign figures he encountered while in office and put them on display at his presidential library.
 


12. The Bachelor

And speaking of Putin.. the line forms to the right of Crimea ladies!
 
 

Vladimir Putin's Divorce: The Russian President Is Officially A Single Man

 
 





 


13. Headline of the Week

Perhaps of the year..

Willie Nelson's armadillo returned after theft

 

So many questions...so lil answers..

 

14. FSF

And since that damn Hologram tour isn't happening... here's a newly unearthed video of The Good Ol'.. doin their thing..

 

Grateful Dead 

12-31-79 

Oakland Auditorium Arena Oakland CA

 


Happy Friday Yawl!

 

 

 

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