Where's my Mule?

1. Boston Swoon

A fan listened while Donnie Wahlberg of New Kids on the Block addressed the audience. Yoon S. Byun/Globe Staff

 

 

Yep. That about sums it up. If you missed some of the webcast due to the insane technical difficulties (as I posted on FB, makes sense, I mean livenation/ticketmaster is just a young, struggling start up with limited resources after all...) Here's a replay going on (I assume they will just keep looping it? Im sure a lot of it will turn up on Youtube by the end of the day today too)

 

2. Boston Goon

Not that any of this is surprising.. but... seriously, what a douche. Besides, how is he of all people worried about people stealing his material. A) He's not funny. B) He's the king of stolen material..

Dane Cook Gets Ripped For Blocking Out Boston Strong Concert Performance

May 31, 2013 8:00 AM

Dane Cook at the Boston Strong Concery. (Photo by Paul Marotta/Getty Images)

BOSTON (CBS) – Comedian and Arlington native Dane Cook was the talk of the town Friday morning after his set at the Boston Strong concert Thursday night.
The reason – no one outside the TD Garden saw it.
The concert was not televised, but it was streamed live online, until Cook came up for his standup performance.

Dane Cook        ✔ @DaneCook

Hey everyone sorry my set was not a part of the live stream or televised! I didn't want any of the new material to hit the airwaves yet!

1:41 AM - 31 May 2013

He requested that it be taken off the stream and explained why later on Twitter: That didn’t go over well on social media. “Dane Cook” was trending on Twitter in Boston into the morning and it wasn’t pretty.



3.  TGIF

LeBron Flop

(Previously in our coverage of LeBron flopping.)

 

 ICYMI... LeBron says flopping is an "effective strategy"... First of all, thats even douchier than Dane Cook. 2nd... dude doesnt need to flop. They dont call any fouls on him, and if you breathe on him funny you get a flagrant 1. It sickens me that the Celtics could have stopped all this from happening last year in game 6, now we have to live under the reign of King LeJoffry... Sigh

4. Nerd Alert

This is a fantastic slideshow. For the record, I'm not teaching my kid how to spell. Ever.

5. Cover of the Week

Prince Does Pearl Jam (just dont let him put it on your blueberry pancakes)

 

6. Runner Up

Robots covering Robots... well done, sir.

 

7. And Speaking of Robots

Judgement Day is nigh! Someone get Eddie Fulong out of rehab.

Stop producing "killer robots," U.N. expert warns

A robot from the sci-fi film "Terminator 2: Judgment Day" (1991). / Carolco

GENEVA Nations should agree to a moratorium on developing robots for war that can function autonomously before it is too late to stop their use, a U.N. human rights expert warned Thursday.
U.N. special rapporteur Christof Heyns urged a temporary freeze on producing or using so-called "killer robots," saying it would give nations time to think through the implications of creating them while "the genie is still in the bottle" technologically.
Programming machines to kill without humans making decisions could encourage more wars and make it more difficult to hold anyone accountable for war crimes, he told reporters in Geneva.
"Time is of the essence," he said of the need to decide now on how to use the robots, before they become a practical reality. "Trying to stop technology is a bit like trying to stop time itself — it moves on."

 

I just love that they used a terminator pick on this story. If that doesn't spur people to action I don't know what will.



8. Trailer of the Week

I look forward to getting way too drunk and seeing this in the theater.. much like I did the 1st movie.



9. Great Job... NBC?!?!

Not something I expected to say these days, but I was anxiously awaiting word on this show. Glad to hear they picked it back up. It's very well done. If you havent seen it, I think full episodes are up online.

NBC orders second helpings of Hannibal, macabre wordplay in articles about Hannibal

Laurence Fishburne (left), Mads Mikkelsen

 

 by Erik Adams May 30, 2013

Mads Mikkelsen is having more friends for dinner, thanks to NBC’s 11th-hour renewal of Hannibal. Bryan Fuller’s woozy reboot of Thomas Harris’ Hannibal Lecter saga was the final question mark on The Peacock’s 2013-14, but Deadline reports that the network has finally decided, yeah, sure, it has room for more Hannibal, ensuring a second season for the series and additional servings of puns based on the fact that its main character kills and eats people.



10. Pop Pop

Finally someone has started the ball rolling on the greatest debate of our generation... one that Lauren and I have been having for the past year or so... What's YOUR favorite color? Answer below!

Tubular Freezer-Pop Colors, Ranked

1) Green

2) Red

3) Orange

4) Purple

5) Pink

6) Being hit by a car

7) Blue

 

My Personal Rankings:

1) Red

2)Blue (yeah, thats right)

3) Pink

4)Purple

5) Yellow

6)Green

7)Orange

11. It's Funny Cuz He's Fat

Sorry.. I know. That's just mean. But it's also true.

Korean Man LOVES Food

This guy is really, really thrilled to be eating his lunch.

In his defense.. it does look delicious.. until he starts playing with it. Then it looks disturbing. I'd say 50-50 chance this guy's got a hostage locked in his closet.

12. Oh How The Mighty Have Fallen

I really hope they incorporate this storyline into the new movie...

Mark Hamill spotted smoking used cigarettes he picked out of public ashtray

• Last Updated: 2:02 PM, May 30, 2013
• Posted: 2:00 PM, May 30, 2013

Mark Hamill was seen picking out old cigarette butts in a public ashtray outside of a studio in Los Angeles and smoking them back in his BMW.
The 61-year-old “Star Wars” actor then threw the stubs out the window when he was finished.
It’s unclear why the working actor felt the need to rummage through trash for a nicotine fix.
Following “Star Wars,” Hamill has had a healthy career on TV, including voicing The Joker in an animated Batman series. There are also rumors he’ll return for the new “Star Wars” movies.

13. Flashback Friday

Two gems from buzzfeed this week...

It's my photoshoot, Yo! 
Hello? Nasty? Where you been?! 

14. You Broke the Rules

Now I'll pull out all your Community Chest Haiiiiiiiiiiir...

The one Monopoly rule you shouldn’t ignore

By Chris Morris | Plugged In – Wed, May 29, 2013 3:07 PM ED

(Credit: Getty Image News)

 Monopoly is one of the most beloved board games of all time, so you'd think we'd all know how to play it correctly.

Turns out we don't.


That's what we call a "tease" in the news business.. follow the link above to find out.. and maybe, just maybe, the next time you play monopoly it wont suck so bad. (But probably not)

And while we're here..

15. Full Show Friday

In honor of tonight's festivities.. let's grank up a lil Mule shall we...

1 Set

Bad Little Doggie > 

Lola Leave Your Light On

Inside Outside Woman Blues

Steppin' Lightly

Broke Down On The Brazos > 

Tributary Jam

Since I've Been Loving You

Soulshine

I'm A Ram

Thorazine Shuffle

Mule

 

 

Have a great weekend y'all!

Is this something you might be interested in?

1. Rocky Mountain High

Just a nice window into the Stoner's Dream that is Colorado right now. I also saw this amazing story on a guy who runs a delivery service out there, but they havent posted it on their website yet. Out of control.

Colorado pot gets homemaking boom

CNN Newsroom|Added on May 7, 2013While stores are unable to sell marijuana, legal homemade pot is booming in Colorado. Jim Spellman meets one such grower.

Q: You're growing these 12 marijuana plants right here in your 1-bedroom apartment, in Denver?
A:  Yes, sir... 
Q: So, is it comforting to wake up every morning in your bed, looking at your Marijuana plants? (editor's note: dumbest question OF ALL TIME)
A: Awesome. We go to bed together. We wake up together.



2. Before They Were Stars

James Lipton edition!

(I mean, given that facial hair, this isn't all that surprising)

3.  Where Are They Now?

Silver Spoons edition!

I'd like to see a mashup reunion show of fresh prince and silver spoons.. it's the 6 degrees of Carlton theory.. anything with him will be good.

4. Fan(atic) of the Day

I can think of someone who may make a similar offer if a certain band played a certain song about a fat, sweaty, bulldog.. Samuels.. I'm looking in your direction.

Fan Offers Testicle To Bruce Springsteen For Song Request

Written by Scott Bernstein on 05.29.2013 | Bruce Springsteen, News, Videos

 

Bruce Springsteen and the E Street Band are currently in the middle of a European Tour that brought them to AWD Arena in Hannover, Germany last night for The Boss’s first-ever show in that city. As he’s done at most shows this tour, Springsteen entered the crowd to collect song requests written on signs held by fans. Thanks to the signs, The Boss and his longtime band have been busting out deep cut originals and covers at an impressive rate on The Wrecking Ball Tour.

At yesterday’s show, Bruce came back to the stage with a sign containing quite an unusual request/offer. Springsteen showed off a sign that said, “I’d give my right testicle to hear Drift Away.” Springsteen responded that he would play the Dobie Gray cover as long as he didn’t have to see the man’s left OR right testicle. He then warned that the band had only played the song a few times (four performances in total since 1984), and didn’t really know Drift Away but that he did want the man to go home with both testicles, so he’d give it a shot.

((Follow link above for video))

  

5. Innovation of the Day

Mmmm.. Chocolate..

6. Job Application of the Day

Nice work, bro

7. Checkers Legend of the Day

Perhaps of all time..

8. Emotional Testimony of the Day

If you haven't been following this father/son prostitution ring story.. you are missing out. I can see the lifetime movie wheels spinning now.. who plays this, ho is the question? My money's on Lohan...

Hooker praises father-son sex ring - details vacations, luxe benefits on stand

• By LAURA ITALIANO
• Last Updated: 11:55 PM, May 28, 2013
• Posted: 2:16 PM, May 28, 2013

The first self-avowed hooker in an alleged, father-son sex trafficking ring has taken the stand on her pimps' behalf, regaling a packed Manhattan courtroom with sunny details of the fabulous employee benefits of being a 'ho.'
Cars, a furnished home in Allentown, Pa, ski and beach vacations as well as a four-year, all-expenses-paid maternity leave. These were among the bennies of turning $300 tricks in limousine back seats and fancy Manhattan hotel room for Vincent George, Jr. and Sr. — so swears Danielle Geissler, 31.
"He made sure I was safe," Geissler said of her pimp, George Jr., who she called her sweetheart, her employer, her "daddy," and the doting father of her eight-year-old daughter.

Vincent George Jr., 34, and Vincent George Sr., 56, in court today.

Danielle Geissler testifies today in Manhattan court.

"We all took care of each other," Geissler enthused, sitting on the witness stand in a cleavage-hiding beige linen pants suit.

"Meaning me and his other girlfriends," she explained, describing Jr.'s Allentown-based stable of several blondes, who she said also called each other "wife-in-laws" and "bitches."

 but wait.. there's more!

"We had our ups and downs, but for the most part I loved him," she told assistant district attorney John Temple, head of the Manhattan DA's sex trafficking unit, which is continuing to call Geissler and the alleged rings' four other sex workers "victims. "
"Please describe one of those 'downs,'" Temple asked.

"Um, me wanting something and not getting my way — like, um, d---," Geissler shared. "Sex."


Let that be a life lesson for you all... don't ever come between a ho and her d---


9.  Interview(s) of the Day

Tough to really choose.. because there's just so much delicious insanity going on in this interview with Will & Jaden Smith...

But then.. anytime Nick Offerman is interviewed.. it's like reading the holy scriptures of manhood... for example ...

BUT -- there is ONE thing better than a Nick Offerman interview.. and that's a dual interview with Offerman and his wife, Megan Mullaly.. if any hollywood couple in the history of hollywood has a chance to make it.. it's definitely them. Need proof?


Hi, guys. We recently did a thing about the history of your relationship. So I wanted to talk to you about your most memorable dates.
Nick Offerman: Okay.
Megan Mullally: We've had a lot. Well, definitely first we need to decide if we’re going to answer these seriously or not. In case we are, we had a good one at the Hollywood Bowl.
Offerman: Anal.
Mullally: Where we performed anal sex in the stands.
Offerman: We were invited onstage where we performed anal sex to the "1812 Overture." You can only imagine.
Mullally: With a fireworks display.
Offerman: Traditionally they use cannons —
Mullally: They used Nick as the cannon for this one.
Offerman: Sort of an explosion in the Hollywood Hills that evening.
Mullally: [Laughs]
Offerman: We were celebrating our nation’s independence.


God bless America.


10.Commercials of the Day

Yes... there are still commercials running on TV (or so I've been told) .. of course, I never see them anywhere but on the internets.. so I can't be sure. Either way.. whoever the ad wizards are behind these gems.. they deserve a mad men style shot of "vitamins"..

Don't be a dish head

But Do.. Ship your pants.

And while we're here.. who would want to Ship your pants when you can...

11. Investigative Reporter of the Day

This guy wouldnt know a good story if it walked up behind him and... oh wait..

Missing man walks up to news crew reporting on … missing man

A local television news crew reporting on a missing Maine man found him as they were about to shoot a live update near his home.

Robert McDonough, a 73-year-old who suffers from dementia, had been missing for more than 14 hours when he walked past the WMTW News 8 crew camped out on the side of his road in rural Limington.

----------------------

See.. who says Journalism is useless! It's a public service. We are here to make the world a better place. And sometimes, just sometimes... we succeed...

And other times.... well..

12. Creepy Shit of the Day

Finally someone took two of the things on this planet I could care less about..(taxidermy, and cats) and combined them.. thus making something somewhat interesting.. Special thanks to our Mile High Club correspondant...(think about it)

OK, Fine, Here’s the Flying Dead Cat Taxidermy Helicopter Sculpture

13. And now for some music

If I were to tell you that I found...

A Young Led Zeppelin playing on TV in 1969

Trey jamming with Del McCoury

An unreleased version of Psycho Killer with a kick-ass Cello track (yes, I just wrote the words "kick-ass Cello" deal with it.)

A Free EP from David Byrne and St Vincent!

An awesome cover of a tune that I forgot was actually not awful (trying hard NOT to admit any sort of affection for Hall & Oats.. you decide if I was succesfful)

-Z

Happy Birthday Bob (the other one)

Top 10 Bob Dylan Quotes

10. Look, when I started out, mainstream culture was Sinatra, Perry Como, Andy Williams, Sound of Music. There was no fitting into it then and of course, there's no fitting into it now.    
 
9. All I can do is be me, whoever that is.

8.  Being noticed can be a burden. Jesus got himself crucified because he got himself noticed. So I disappear a lot.

7. People today are still living off the table scraps of the sixties. They are still being passed around - the music and the ideas.

6. This land is your land and this land is my land, sure, but the world is run by those that never listen to music anyway.

5. I'm just glad to be feeling better. I really thought I'd be seeing Elvis soon.

4. I'll let you be in my dreams if I can be in yours.

3. Here's the thing with me and the religious thing. This is the flat-out truth: I find the religiosity and philosophy in the music. I don't find it anywhere else.

2. If I wasn't Bob Dylan, I'd probably think that Bob Dylan has a lot of answers myself.

1. I accept chaos, I'm not sure whether it accepts me.

Honorable Mentions:
 
He not busy being born is busy dying.


You can't be happy by doing something groovy.


Just because you like my stuff doesn't mean I owe you anything.

Colleges are like old-age homes, except for the fact that more people die in colleges.

Folk music is a bunch of fat people.

SCRANTONICITY

1. Closin' Up Shop

A fond farewell last night to one of the all-time great shows.. and even though it's time has probably come... (thats what she said) I'm sorta sad to see it go, now that its gone. Great finale, as far as finales go.. they tied up the loose ends, gave you a little closure on almost all of the characters (loved Creed's farewell the best) and of course some classic, Office-type moments. First and foremost from the head honcho himself.. Michael Scott. I loved the "I feel like I'm watching my kids grow up, and marry each other. What more could a parent want?" .. but the best had to be his grand entrance... obv..

Shit just never gets old... 

Anyway, lots of retrospectives all week long.. and a lot of this ground was covered in that hr long special last night on NBC.. but for those wanted to furthur stroll down "that's what she said lane".. here ya go:

Daily Beast reminds us all the reasons the show was (once) Great

Grantland breaks it all down the youtube HOF style

IGN's top 10 Office Pranks

AV Club breaks it all down.. AV club style.. 

and heres their "Full Monty Office Coverage" Page.. for those still reading..

2. TGIF

As tempted as I was to make the above GIF, the GIF of the week.. nothing can really top this one:

3. Police Blotter

They say there's a sucker born every minute... well, I say, there's a sucker arrested every minute too. And for that, we thank you.. This week's roundup(and oh, what a wild week it was) :

The Girl Who Pickled The Hornet's Nest

The Moms Who Made the Happiest Place on Earth A Little Sadder

The Dude Who Just Wanted To... Damn, what did I want to do again?

The Pimp Who Proved You're Never Too Old.. To Be A Ho

The Woman Who Proves It's Never the Ones You Want To See.. That Are On Display

The Woman Who Celebrated A Liiiiitle Too Early

The Dude Who Should Have Been A Pacifist (Mark it Zero!)

The Guy Who Just Had the Munchies (bad)

The Internet Celeb Who Shoulda Picked Up His Hatchet And Went Home

yes.. this guy:

And Last.. but certainly not least...

The Dudes Who Weren't Arrested In This Video In Particular, but are Surely behind bars somewhere right now for something

4. The Golden Ladies

Sign #1,024 that you have too much on your hands? You spent 2 million on this:

I know what you're thinking.. where's the rest? OK you sickos.. here ya go. You can thank me for a being a friend later.

5.  Moment of Zen

Let's take a breather after all that grossness, and just breathe in. and take in some natural beauty. (Dont worry, there's no more old lady boobs.. at least for this week)

6. How Far Does the Rabbit Hole Go?

Buzzfeed attempts to answer the age old question with one of their best lists of all time...

How Disney’s “Alice In Wonderland” Scarred You For Life

Some of my favorites:

No.

NO.

NEVER.

:-(

7. Fantasy Baseball Alert!

If this guy is still available in your fantasy league.. I recommend you race to your team and get him..

8. And In Other Sports News

This is why organized sports are so important for young kids

This is what teammates are for
 

This is why you "act like you been there before" 

This is Why It's Awesome To Be From Boston

And This

And This

And This

And THIS is Why It Sucks To Be From Toronto 

And of course this... (on a side note)

Toronto Mayor Rob Ford caught in crack smoking video scandal 

A group of Canadian drug dealers are asking for 'six figures' for an explosive video showing Toronto Mayor Rob Ford smoking crack cocaine. Reporters from the Toronto Star newspaper and the website Gawker said they watched the video and concluded the man in it was Ford. The mayor, meanwhile, dismissed the reports as 'ridiculous.'

 

Of course.. our Mayor sounds like he just smoked crack at all times.. but as far as we know.. he doesnt. And that's why we heart him.

9. Story Time

In case you thought Charlie Murphy used up all his good True Hollywood Stories on Chappelle show.. he just wanted to clarify.. he's got stories, yo.

10. It's Like I'm Cumming All Day

Men with guitars are more attractive to women: study

(Relaxnews)—Researchers at the University of Bretagne-Sud and the University of Paris-Sud enlisted the aid of an attractive young man who approached 300 women between the ages of 18 and 22 and ask them for their phone number, according to the Counsel & Heal website on Tuesday. A third of time he carried a guitar case, a third of the time he carried a gym bag and another third he was empty-handed. He was the least successful with the women when holding the sports bag, gathering phone numbers only nine percent of the time.

Interesting study.. I think THIS GUY would agree... but I think THIS GUY would not.

11. Sounds About Right

In case you were wondering what the secret ingredient is, in Dogfish's Grateful Dead Beer... why you really shouldn't have wondered about that because the answer is pretty obvious...

12. I'd Buy That For A Dollar

OK, this is almost enough to make we want to move to Detroit.. but then I remember, it's Detroit.

Detroit's RoboCop statue is almost done, and it's goddamn majestic

by Marah Eakin May 14, 2013

Back in 2011, the brave citizens of Detroit (along with a bunch of assholes on Kickstarter) raised enough money to erect a giant RoboCop statue somewhere in the motor city. More than two years and a string of “where the heck are we going to put this thing” battles later, the statue is finally close to completion. The 10-foot-tall statue is currently in its foam components stage and should be bronzed in the near future. Once that’s done, Imagination Station, the statue’s makers, will perfect its look and then, hopefully, place it somewhere in the city by late next summer.
Imagination Station posted a series of pics of the statue in progress online over the weekend and, honestly, it’s goddamn majestic. Once bronzed and mounted on some sort of base, the completed work should keep Detroit free from crime for all eternity—or until someone spray-paints it.










 
13. Hologram Tour 2013!

I dont know about you.. but I am all in.






14. Before They Were Stars

They looked like this...

Nerd Alert!

(yes, that is who you think it is)

And so is this:

On a side note: Apparently these guys were always funny.

15. Full Show Friday

 Well, since our friends at Hidden Track are big skimpin' on this week's FSF (though, not really.. I mean this is pretty awesome:

(Not Exactly) Full Show Friday: Page McConnell and Trey Anastasio With The Allman Brothers Band @ Beacon Theatre 2009

Why don't we try to "complete the set" by crankin' up the way back machine to 1973....

Watch the 1973 version of the Allman Brothers Band perform in Macon:

Side note: nothing really gets me cranked up for summer like the ABB. All of a sudden I have a desire to hit the blacktop at Great Woods and pound some keg beer. Wooey!

 -------------------------------------------------

Well, that's all for now, folks.. Have a great weekend! And just remember the immortal words of Dwight Schrute...

"I have no feeling in my fingers or penis, but I think it was worth it."

Friday 15

1. Full Show Friday

Shall we start with a nice lil soundtrack to pump while browsing down the rest of the list? Sure, why not? Let's crank up the way back machine to 1996.
The band: Medeski, Martin, Wood.
The venue: Liberty Lunch in Austin, TX
The Minds: Blown

More info here

More Jamz here:

 2. Pro-Shot Snobs?

If you don't go for fan-shot video (and frankly, I dont blame you.) there's also this to whet your whistle.. Not a "Full Show" yet still packs as many face melts as any full show you will find out there..

Pro-Shot Video: Eric Clapton With Allman Brothers Band – 2009

Written by Scott Bernstein on 05.09.2013 | Allmans, Eric Clapton, Videos

While Eric Clapton jammed with the Allman Brothers Band at MSG for last month’s Crossroads Guitar Festival, it was not the first time the acts met up in recent years. Back in 2009 Clapton sat in with the Allman Brothers Band as part of their 40th Anniversary March Madness Run at the Beacon Theatre. Slowhand guested with the Allmans on March 19 and 20 for each show’s entire second sets.

1. Key To The Highway – Allman Brothers Band with guest Eric Clapton (lead vocal / guitar)
2. Dreams – Allman Brothers Band with guest Eric Clapton (guitar)
3. Why Does Love Got To Be So Sad – Allman Brothers Band with guest Eric Clapton (lead vocal / guitar)
4. Little Wing – Allman Brothers Band with guest Eric Clapton (lead vocal / guitar)
5. Anyday – Allman Brothers Band with guests Eric Clapton (vocals / guitar) and Susan Tedeschi (vocals)
6. Layla – Allman Brothers Band with guests Eric Clapton (lead vocal / guitar) and Danny Louis (piano)


And in other Allman Bros News... here's what happened when Geraldo Rivera met them in 1979. Here's a hint: his moustache took over the band and forced Dicky's moustache out.


3. Dead Giveaway


No, not talking about the Grateful Dead (rimshot!)... by now you've probably all seen the clips of the Cleveland Kidnapping Hero, Charles Ramsey.. If not.. stop every single thing you are doing and watch this:

Ohio: Neighbor interview, then 911 call

then watch this:

Charles Ramsey: 'Either I'm Stupid' or He's That Good

and of course, there's this:

EXCLUSIVE: Anderson Cooper interview with Charles Ramsey

Want more?

 

Hm, think this guy was a lil overexposed? No.. not yet.. not until this:

Move over Antoine Dobson.. there's a new internet sensation in town..

4. Rolling Out the Welcome... Jay?

 This is how you make your new star athlete feel at home.

And while we're here.. this is how you effectively taunt someone on the other team

And this is the absolute best way to root for your own team

And this is how you accurately honor "the King"

5. Secrets Revealed!

What's the key to a long, happy life? Bacon of course!

105-year-old woman says eating bacon every day is her key to long life

By Stephen C. Webster
Tuesday, May 7, 2013 8:50 EDT

A 105-year-old woman from Richland, Texas says that the key to long life is bacon.  

Pearl Cantrell’s love of bacon is so strong that the Oscar Meyer Wienermobile made a stop through town last week to wish her a happy birthday, all because she told a local news station her amazing secret.
“I love bacon, I eat it everyday,” she told a reporter for Abilene-based Big Country Homepage in April. “I don’t feel as old as I am, that’s all I can say.”


Case closed!


6.  He's Got the Biggest

Move over Bon Scott (and Jon Fishman)...

Wesley Warren, Jr. rests his scrotum on a milk crate after boarding a bus in Las Vegas, in this Oct. 4, 2011 photo. Warren has a condition called scrotal lymphedema, which has caused his scrotum to swell to over 100 pounds. 

Man Has Surgery for 134-Pound Scrotum

For five painful years, Wesley Warren Jr. watched his scrotum slowly swell into a 134-pound mass that hung to his ankles. It all started with a bad dream.
"I quickly sat up on the side of the bed after bursting out of an incredible nightmare," said Warren, 48, recalling the mid-sleep maneuver that "slammed" his right testicle. "I felt the most enormous amount of pain that one could possible imagine."
The pain quickly subsided, though, as if "a big rig was rolling off" his scrotum, Warren said. "I felt like I'd dodged a bullet."
But the nightmare had just begun. By the following day, the sack had stretched to the size of a soccer ball.
"I went to the ER and they treated it as though I had some kind of infection," Warren said, recalling a course of antibiotics that had no effect on the bulging mass. "I went to other doctors, and no one was able to figure out anything to for me. They'd refer me to another doctor or surgeon, but because I don't have insurance or the financial means to pay for these folks on demand, the appointment would be six weeks away or three months away."


Finally! We now know who was on the other end of this phone call!

7. And in Snoop News

You think he's just playin' when he says he's a pimp? WRONG! You think he was a pimp before he got into the rap game? WRONG! He was a pimp AFTER he got in the rap game.. why? Just because he's Snoop... that's why.

Snoop Lion Opens Up About His Pimp Past

'It was never about the money; it was about the fascination'

When Snoop Dogg called himself a "pimp" back in 2003, he wasn't joking. "I put an organization together," the rapper-turned Rasta artist Snoop Lion tells contributing editor Jonah Weiner in the new issue of Rolling Stone. "I did a Playboy tour, and I had a bus follow me with ten bitches on it. I could fire a bitch, fuck a bitch, get a new ho: It was my program. City to city, titty to titty, hotel room to hotel room, athlete to athlete, entertainer to entertainer."

While he doesn't name names, he claims professional athletes would use his services. "If I'm in a city where where the Denver Broncos or the Nuggets play, I get a couple of they players to come hang out, pick and choose, and whichever one you like comes with a number," he says. "A lot of athletes bought pussy from me." 

My money's on Elway. You know those two are tight...Besides, he can't get Pussy on his own with those horse teeth.

8. You Like Jams? We Got Jams...

I've been on a weird kick lately of listening to phish/dead/whoever tracks that are long. And when I say long, I dont mean your garden variety 20 min YEM or your 25 min Playin. I mean your 40+min Tweezers.. your 50+min Foams.. your 35+min Dark Stars.. Anyway, all of those are put to shame by young upstarts the national...

The National to release its six-hour performance of one song as an extremely nerdy LP set

by Marah Eakin May 8, 2013

The National plans to release its ridiculous six-hour long art museum performance of “Sorrow” as an LP—or, rather, as a nine or 10-LP set. So far there’s no hard plan of when or how this extremely for-diehards-only set will be released, but in a Reddit AMA, the band’s Matt Berninger says he hopes proceeds from the release will go to benefit charity.
Playing the same song for six hours might seem like torture to some, but, during the AMA, the group’s Aaron Dessner said it was a quasi-religious experience. According to Dessner:

“As the hours went on I think we all realized that this experience was something special for us—there was a weird hypnotic resonance and spirituality to repeating the song over and over. We almost didn’t want to stop and we learned something about our capacity for endurance and the song opened up in surprising ways...by the end it didn’t feel like we were playing it anymore.”

9. Spicoli Lives!

Video of Texas student scolding teacher goes viral

A Duncanville, Texas school district says it is looking into a cell phone video-gone-viral of a student telling off his teacher about her poor teaching skills.
The video shows a teen, apparently told to leave the classroom, lecturing the teacher for being ineffective and "reading packets" as he makes his way out the door.
"You want kids to come into your class? You want them to get excited for this? You gotta come in here and make them excited. You want a kid to change and start doing better? You gotta touch his freakin' heart. Can't expect a kid to change if all you do is just tell 'em," the student says in the video.
"This is my country's future, my education," he says as he exits.

Deep, yo.. Deep. But not as deep as this:

10. MJ vs the Sheens

Words cannot describe this find from Grantland.. so I'll just let the video do all the talking. The play by play in the article is pretty amazing as well.

Internet Unearths Late-’80s Footage of Martin and Charlie Sheen Beating Michael Jordan in Basketball, Again Justifies Its Existence

By Rembert Browne on May 9, 2013 3:30 PM ET

Berl Rotfeld Productions

The Internet is beautiful, in the sense that certain fads, memes, and obscure pieces of media have multiple life cycles, with each rise to relevancy enjoyed by new generations of online sleuths. Rarely are things that have been dug up true Internet "firsts."
I had to remind myself of that today, as a clip made its way to my inbox that, for a split second, I was sure had never previously been on the Internet.
But of course it had.
Five years ago, on April 13, 2008, NESW Sports posted an article titled "Michael Jordan vs Charlie and Martin Sheen, Video." The post described a show, War of the Stars, and at the end of the description were two video clips.


11. Crimes of the Week


Vote for your favorite below!

Option 1
Option 2


Note.. they both happen to be in Florida.. That's clearly no coincidence.



12. Your Welcome
I just saved you thousands of seconds over the course of your life.. of course, if you waste them all here, I guess that makes us even.

99 Life Hacks to make your life easier!

My favorites:

I'm sure they're just fiiiine for eating though

Finally! A use for the literally HUNDREDS of empty CD spindles that I have...

Now I can get rid of my old, outdaded stundfinder.. or as I like to call it: Looking in the Mirror.. (ZING!)

13. Only In China

Or in Michael Vick's backyard..

14. D'oh Draper

Nice look back at some of the REAL ads from the mad men era.. and how the ones from the TV show probably wouldn't have made the cut..


15. And For All the Mothers Out There

Ode to Awkward Moms
Ode to bitchy Moms
Ode to Yo Moms



Have a great weekend y'all.. do somethin' nice for Moms, will ya?